Written by Dr. Eric Perry
Image Credit: Pixabay
“Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I believe in maintaining a positive attitude in my life. But I also acknowledge that life is not perfect. It is impossible to live your life in an inexhaustible positive state of mind similar to a sugar high. Everywhere we look we are being told to be happy and that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Keeping up with the wave of positivity can be exhausting and at times, depressing. We can’t allow ourselves to be pressured to live a life constantly rushing from one positive high to another and avoiding any sadness or negative emotions.
Surrounded by the illusion of eternal positivity, it is normal to blame ourselves when life takes a downward turn. It is also normal to develop an aversion to anything but happiness and positivity. I do firmly believe that blatant negativity is to be avoided. But, life’s hard times must be lived and processed much like nature has to go through the slumber of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring. We have to accept that there is much to be learned from life’s storms. Sometimes we need a thunderous jolt of reality to be awakened by our self-imposed happiness stupor.
We need to learn to sit with what we perceive as negative emotions even if it is uncomfortable. We are constantly evaluating our feelings and tend to judge feelings that make us uncomfortable as bad. We do this so often that there is little if any awareness that we are on autopilot and unconsciously judging certain feelings. We then naturally will do our best to avoid these negative feelings. This behavior leads us to manifest the defense mechanism of avoidance and disconnect from our feelings. The ability to take negative feelings and sublimate them into positive action is a healthy skill to develop. However, the overuse of sublimation leads us to unknowingly avoid and repress feelings which may later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression and an overall discontentment with our life. It is important to learn how to process negative emotions.
Here are some steps I recommend to my patients:
1. Identify
It is important to pause and identify what you are feeling. By recognizing how you really feel about a situation, you can begin to shed light on your true emotions instead of suppressing them.
2. Accept
Take a moment. Take a deep breath and embrace the feeling. Lean into the storm of uncomfortable emotions. By doing this you can begin to normalize the feelings and shift your relationship with these emotions. If the feeling is overwhelming, it is ok to temporarily sublimate these feelings into a positive physical activity. Just remember that the goal is to slowly and steadily begin to acknowledge and sit with these feelings.
3. Tolerance
By identifying and accepting your feelings, over time you will develop tolerance to uncomfortable emotions. In a sense, you are developing your discomfort muscle to handle more negative emotions.
4. Reflect
After a period of time, reflect on what you have learned and gained from the negative event or interaction in your life. More often than not you will find that you have learned something. Perhaps you will discover an inner strength that you were not aware of or a higher purpose for your existence.
We must learn to live a balanced life as too much positivity can lead to denial and too much gloom to a life of existential anxiety. Walking on the tightrope of life we precariously balance on the path we chose avoiding the many distractions that try to topple us from our goals. Embrace being present and live your life authentically, feeling your ups and your downs. Remember, there are no bad days in life, only bad moments from which we can learn lessons that will last us a lifetime. Thank you for taking a moment to visit my blog. I hope you enjoyed this post. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
The thoughts expressed in this blog post are my own and are not meant to create a professional relationship with the reader. This blog does not replace or substitute the help of a medical professional. Please note, I am unable to answer your specific questions as I am not fully aware of all of the circumstances.
Kindly,
Dr. Perry
“I help ambitious and high achieving individuals manifest a life of success and fulfillment in order to achieve the life they truly desire.”
Dr. Eric Perry | drericperry.com
© 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Thank you for this post. It’s true about everyone pushing happiness on you. Life is about contrasts. Good and bad. Ying and Yang.
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Indeed. It is all about balance✨
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Love this post. Thank you for the tips Dr. Perry. It really is about being present and not filtering your emotions and life.
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Very true✨
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This post is spot on. It’s almost like you are talking directly to me sometimes. I really enjoy reading your posts!
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I am happy to hear this. Thank you for sharing your positive feedback as it motivates me to continue writing and sharing my views✨
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Thank you Dr. Perry. It’s always a pleasure to read your work.
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You’re welcome Sean✨
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Thanks for another interesting post. Life like a painting is constructed of many different paint strokes shades and hues. That’s what makes it so exciting. Have a great day.
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Thank you James. Beautifully said. Have a great day as well✨
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My pleasure.
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This was exactly what I needed to read! The last few years of growth had been getting to me lately and was worried I had hit a brick wall. I can be so hard on myself sometimes so much thanks!
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I am so happy to hear this post helped you in some way. Just remind yourself that the good and the bad days are part of the same journey✨
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Hello Dr. Perry, there is something so special about the way you write. You are able to make me feel what you are saying. It is a wonderful ability that I hope you continue to share. Blessings
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words and hope to continue writing for a very long time✨
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I agree, he’s got a way with words that is simple, clear cut, compassionate, and comforting. He must be awesome as a doctor to his patients.
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And for gifts freely given in a world that often seems to be holding out hands for payment – thank you Dr. Perry!
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Thank you Carol for being so kind!✨
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I believe you are the one being kind, as well as extremely generous. But you’re welcome.
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Thank you for such kind words✨
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As someone who desperately tries to stay cheerful but is having a bad couple of days – thank you for this post x
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You’re welcome Lisa. Wishing you well✨
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Thank you 🙏
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Excellent post, thank you!
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You’re welcome Marie-Celine✨
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Thanks for this meaningful post🙋
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You’re welcome Nidhi✨
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Thank you for sharing your wisdom! 😊 Suppressed emotions can actually become trapped in our bodies making us physically sick. I’m a classic case of that. Better to feel the emotions and deal with them. It’s healthier emotionally and physically.
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Indeed! Thank you for your comment Vivian✨
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Experiencing our full range of human emotions is important to our growth and understanding. Your post excellently drives this point home! 😊
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Thank you Anita!✨
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Loved this post! Thank you.
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Thank you for the reblog Beckie and I’m very happy you like it✨
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You are most welcome. 🙂
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What an awesome post, and definitely something that I needed to read today!!!
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Thank you so much Sharon. I’m happy this was helpful✨
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This post really helps me, thank you so much.
I am still healing from a traumatic break up. And I feel like I should feel silly for not just “getting over it” quickly. But I’m self aware enough that I have recognized that I need some down time (not dating) in order to grieve, process, and heal. Your article has helped validate my course of action to myself. It’s so hard to give ourselves what we need sometimes. It’s hard not to view our needs from society’s eyes instead of our own and with compassion.
Thank you for being the objective outside voice that helps me do what I need to do for me.
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You are most welcome. Wishing you well✨
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Thank you! I”m going to enjoy my quiet time now that I’ve figured out i need it lol!
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According to me, a bad day is a bad day if one doesn’t learn anything from it. Reflecting is one key aspect that many miss. Well articulated post, Dr Perry. Thank you🙏
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You’re welcome and thank you for sharing your insight✨
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So true.
Many people do not reflect on the bad day.
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Good advice. Thanks.
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Glad you liked it✨
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This was amazing advice. Thank you so much for sharing this and I am planning to work harder with this!
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Thank you Alyssa✨
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You are welcome! What you shared was so incredibly helpful. I have been dealing with SO much lately and it has been extremely stressful
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Awesome post! Sharing on facebook. Thank you Dr. Perry
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Happy you liked it!✨
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But, life’s hard times must be lived and processed much like nature has to go through the slumber of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring. We have to accept that there is much to be learned from life’s storms. Sometimes we need a thunderous jolt of reality to be awakened by our self-imposed happiness stupor.
Truth!
As there is day and night, there will be good times and bad time. If we accept this truth, it will set us free. Thanks for sharing, as always, doc.
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Without darkness, how will we recognize the light? Without pain, how could we know true happiness.
You articulate this very accurately. Thank you
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I am happy you like it. Thank you for your comment✨
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I keep looking forward to reading your posts and all wisdom that you share. 🙂
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Thank you for your kind words Parikhit✨
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Without the darkness, how would we recognize the light?!
Every challenge is an opportunity for knowledge and growth!
Great post! Thank you.
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Thank you so much✨
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I really appreciate this post. Balance really is what it’s all about. “Into each life some rain must fall”. My husband is a diabetic and we have been dealing with his heart disease and kidney failure for several years now. It is a daily struggle. Sometimes it is overwhelming. But there is sweetness in the lessons and the reminders that life is fragile and should be treasured. My prayers are often for faith and wisdom as well as for gratitude for strength given. Thank you for this timely reminder.
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My pleasure Carol. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful insight. I wish you and your husband well✨
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Thank you!!!!!
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Awesome post! I went through each step as I reflected back on “negative issues” that bother me. Definitely helpful towards living a balanced life! THANK YOU!!
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You’re welcome!✨
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Thank you for this, Dr. Perry. As a survivor of domestic violence – but an eternal optimist at heart, it’s hard for me at times to “allow” myself a bad day now that I’m out from under the burden of oppression of DV. I feel that I should appreciate every day as a blessing since during my “troubles” I didn’t know if I’d see tomorrow. However, I still do have trying days, but I feel ungrateful if I allow negative feelings since nothing will ever be as bad as what I went through with my ex husband. This blog helps tremendously!
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I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same as you. From the moment I escaped I have tried to really only feel joy and gratitude. Today however I have felt a little overwhelmed with heartache and grief. It is just so hard to accept that I meant almost nothing to the person for whom I was prepared to give up everything. My broken heart feels raw and exposed again but deep down I realise I must allow this to truly heal. Thank you for reminding me there is a purpose in my pain.
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Great post. I have to admit I am tired of reading how you can manifest a perfect life. I see a lot of these posts on wordpress. I don’t think it’s that easy. Life is tough. It has good times and bad times and you can’t just think away the bad times.
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True! I think “perfection” can sometimes be hidden where we don’t want to look. Sometimes to keep going, not giving up hope, and to admit to having tough times without overdoing it and wallowing in self pity, can be perfection I think 🙂 But people who think “manifestation” means they can wave a wand and *boom* life is fairytale, I think they miss a point. A line from a song by Leonard Cohen comes to mind: “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” The cracks – among other things hardship and pain – can hint at perfection and beauty, if we only dare to look closely.
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Thank you for another well written and thoughtful post. Whenever I have a bad day I remind myself that tomorrow will be better. I just have to hang on for one more day and it’s usually better.
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Thank you for your insight Matt. Have a great day✨
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This is so very important to teach our children – hopefully by example. I believe that learning to accept the tough things in life and process them in a healthy way would have a significant impact on substance abuse and suicides. The thing adults have learned that young people haven’t is that bad things will happen and, yes, they’ll happen more than once; but they can be survived. Good post!
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Thank you for this! Positivity is not about ignoring negativity, it’s about alchemy.
Dr. Perry, you touch my soul with every post. Thanks again!
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Thank you for your kind words!✨
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Very nicely written.
I like to think that there are bad moments, but I try not to let those bad moments ruin my entire day. 💓
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Good point. Thank you✨
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Thank you for sharing. I have to remind myself that every now and then I’m going to have a bad day. We all have them. Thanks for giving me a reminder. I’m going to share this article with my sister. She is currently fighting Lyme Disease and she has a lot bad days. I think she could be encouraged by this. Thanks again and have a great evening! You’re so awesome!
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Thank you. I wish you and your sister well. Have a wonderful evening✨
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You’re welcome. Thank you that’s very much appreciated. Thank you!
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Not being familiar with the term “sublimation”, I had to initially laugh when I understood the main definition – a chemical process where a solid turns into a gas without going through a liquid stage. But then I found that in psychology, it’s a different meaning. 🙂 Hallelujah! LOL Your suggestions are spot on. Emotions are what need to be dealt with not what we think would be considered “societally acceptable behaviors.” I always enjoy your posts!
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Thank you very much✨
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The title grabbed my attention as yesterday was a bad day. I lost my job and once again have no income. It’s not always sunshine and roses. Life is a rollercoaster for me right now. Lately, it’s been more downs than ups, but I have been doing so well with not isolating and that’s huge. The fact that I don’t want to be hospitalized again is what drives me. I am so glad I found you and your blog!!
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I am so sorry you lost your job Dottie. I read your blog and I can see you have people that care about you and you are not alone! I wish you the best Dottie and that you will find a new job soon. Also, congratulations on getting a top grade on your paper!✨
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Thank you so much Dr. Perry! I have a phone interview later today for a position I applied for. I’m praying it goes well. I’m keeping my chin up and trying to stay positive.
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Hi Dottie! You are going to do great!✨✨✨
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Very nice post, hearttouching
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Thank you very much.
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I just can’t describe how wonderful your post felt to me. I totally believe in this that it’s ok when you are not having a good day or things not going good. Everything is part of our journey of self-development. Growth doesn’t only mean going upward sometimes it’s about those deep, dark and low moments.
Love & Hugs
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Thank you for writing this
I try so hard these days to avoid the negativity, i work with alot of negative people which is sad, however, i am able to tune them out by just focus on my job and myself, and do not interact with them, because i know they are bad for me, i do be polite to them, smiles and wave type of thing.
When it comes to out and about, i try to stay away, i had an issue this weekend i was at the retreat, and some negativity was going on, and it was hard to stay away, i ended up having an anxiety attack i left in tears in my room just trying to calm down. it is really hard to tune out people in a social event. I was not going to let it control me. at times i start feeling social concious too, people gets annoyed with my upbeat esp the first thing in the morning, that is who i am.
thanks again
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Great post. I know I have trouble letting myself off the hook if things don’t go right. We blame ourselves and feel we are defective somehow. I think acceptance is extremely important.
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I really needed to read this today! Thank you Dr. Perry. I appreciate everything you write. Have a wonderful weekend ❤️
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Thank you! I’m glad this helped you. Enjoy your weekend✨
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Love this perspective , so clear , straightforward and balanced. Thank you so much for this!
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You are most welcome. Have a wonderful day✨
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I really appreciated seeing this in my inbox this morning. Yesterday was a super bad day, and I was trying to focus on the positive, and it was very hard, but knowing that God never left me, no matter how badly I reacted, kept me going. Thanks for your post!
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You’re welcome!✨
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I needed this. Perfect.
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Thank you. I am glad you liked it✨
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This is such an important post. I’m all for positivity and optimism, but I know that negative emotions and negative life events have value too. More often than not, we learn from negative experiences – they end up being valuable learning experiences – if we’re willing to (like you said) pause, reflect, and accept, in order to make sense of what’s happened and how to move forward with it. Negative emotions are also important sign posts that signal our emotional state – the ups, downs, and upside-downs – and how we must find a way to integrate both positive and negative emotional states to come to a wholesome creation of our emotional world. Thank you for writing this!
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Wisdom, the deepest kind of wisdom, is found only in pain.
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Very true✨
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Beautifully written, good doctor!
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Thank you very much✨
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Reblogged this on Highervibrationz.
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What you say is very true.. instead of forcefully imposing positive vibes, once in a while it pays to listen to what negatives have to say.
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Hi and thanks for the support. Appreciate the sentiments and the value of both positive and negative. Very Positively put.
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Thank you✨
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Thank you, Dr. Perry. I especially like #2 Accept. Reality is my friend. When We fully accept where we are we can move on. Great post. I appreciate your insights.
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I really liked the steps you mentioned to cope with negative emotions and completely agree that it is okay to have bad days!
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Thank you!✨
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Hi Dr Perry. A great article. I think the myth of ‘always stay positive’ is pervasive in the new age mind, body, spirit genre. You remind us here (as do many of the people commenting) that life is about contrasts, roller coasters and exploring our shadow selves. Connecting to our emotions, sitting with them and understanding them. This seems like a lost art in our modern world and one that is deeply lacking in our mass consciousness. Thanks for sharing. Very thought provoking. Mary
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Indeed, very good advice. These aspects of the Self need to be honoured and released. Then, we grieve and wait on regeneration.
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Great points to follow. Thanku💐
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You’re welcome!✨
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Loved this post. I learned a long while ago to stop trying to put the misery I was feeling, and the things that made me feel it, into boxes. I learned that when I accepted them they couldn’t hurt me as much. As Lao Tzu said many years ago where there is good there is bad, and where there is bad there is good.
Moisy
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Thank you for sharing your insight Moisy. I am a huge fan of Lao Tzu✨
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Lovely post. Tips are awesome. The negative situations will come and go. Unless we learn from them, we can not be strong enough to handle the future negative situations. Thank you for sharing this post.
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Very true. We must look at negative moments as opportunities for growth✨
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I enjoyed reading this post. I agree that we all need to remember that it’s ok to really feel the negative feelings and try and learn from them. Thank you for the reminder.
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Thank you for your comment Sandra✨
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I think there are bad days, like the days when people or pets die. And then we have to work our way through that grief. I also find that I have emotional lows about once a month or so, and I have chalked it up to biorhythms. On those days I just have to remind myself of that and then be careful not to take my bad feelings out on anyone. I am usually back to myself by the next day. Thanks for another great post.
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This is a wonderful post. I am learning to experience the bad times and to accept them for what they are and to learn from them the best I can. Lately I seem to be more thankful and appreciative of the good times that do come along. I really enjoy reading your posts, it is that little shot of positivity that is so appreciated when life is weighing you down. Thank you! 🙂
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You are most welcome. I am happy to know my blog brings more positivity into your life. Have a wonderful day✨
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I can tell you are a wonderful therapist, Dr. Perry. For many years, when things weren’t going well I’d say I was a having a “bad” day. But, I’ve grown to realize that my “bad” day is a luxury problem compared to others in an awful plight such as having no housing or food, living in a war zone, etc. I’ve trained myself to more quickly change my thoughts to one of gratitude, remembering in this exact moment I am fine, and sayings like “This too shall pass.” Participating in 12-Step ACOA and Alanon meetings helped me shift my perspective and further studying the Tao has led me to greater acceptance of things as they are. Thank you for the wonderful posts on your blog; I love reading them!
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Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏🏼✨
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I totally agree with you. Life is all about balance. One can’t remain positive everytime. Sometimes you have to accept what’s going around you and stop living in denial. That’s part of the life.
I have always been a very optimistic person. No matter what happened ,I always tried to look at the brighter side of the life. And I still do. But few months back something happened which shattered all my hopes and dreams. I felt empty and directionless. And instead of accepting what I was feeling I went into denial mode. I’m a optimistic person so how can I feel unhappy and sad, I started questioning myself. Slowly it turned into frustration. Then I started reading many self help books and all talked about accepting your feelings and detachment. I started working on that and eventually everything went back to normal.
So yeah, life is full of ups and downs, and
we have to accept and embrace both. Your post summaries everything beautifully. Thanks for sharing!
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Great post Dr Perry❤️
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Thank you!✨
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Absolutely. I’m a huge proponent of positivity, but not at the expense of reality.
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People forget about the balance of life there is a positive charge the negative is just as large, each will fire along the same line, our actions manage the balance over an extended period of time.
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I agree that seeing a negative emotion as a learning opportunity turns it into a positive.
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I believe pain can teach us, but didn’t know how to express it. Rough times can lead to growth. Thank you.
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You are most welcome✨
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You wrote: It is impossible to live your life in an inexhaustible positive state of mind similar to a sugar high. Everywhere we look we are being told to be happy and that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Keeping up with the wave of positivity can be exhausting and at times, depressing. We can’t allow ourselves to be pressured to live a life constantly rushing from one positive high to another and avoiding any sadness or negative emotions…..And then…:It is also normal to develop an aversion to anything but happiness and positivity.
This describes exactly what I have been going through for the last 8 months. I have major depression well treated after 10 years of changing meds around. Once the happiness turned from hours to days to weeks, I developed the aversion to anything that slightly got me low again. I work extremely hard at staying positive through affirmations, positive reading and videos, gratitude and lists of every positive emotion I have at one point in the day………………..I am just scared to go back to 21 hours of sleep.
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Dr. Perry, as usual you have hit the nail on the head. It is hard to experience negative feelings, but ignoring them does not allow us to live authentically and truly. I am grateful for your poignant description of the need to express ourselves in all situations and grow from each one.
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Thank you very much✨
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Thank you so much for shedding more light on the topic, growing up as a child I often take things to heart but then very scared of breaking down so I won’t be laughed at for being too weak. I tried my best to fake being strong and it became a life style, now I understand why I’m always anxious. Will try my best to start working on it now. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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Really enjoyed reading this post. I have been applying this way of thinking for the past 2 years or so and it has made a significant difference in my state of mind. Thank you for sharing the tips 😃
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You’re welcome! I’m happy you liked it✨
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Dr. Perry, U r absolutely awesome!:-) I really appreciate your work. Keep it up!
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Thank you, I appreciate it✨
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Thank you Dr. Perry for posting this… I really appreciate your knowledge and effort… It’s really very helpful… This is exactly what I must be told very earlier… Thank you and have a great day😇
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My pleasure. I’m happy this was helpful. Have a wonderful day✨
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Thank you this. It’s as they say ‘A bad day does not mean a bad life.’
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Thank you for sharing your insight! I have a lot of difficult days. Even though I usually cope with them well, sometimes I still need a reminder. It helps to read through such a calming post and collect your thoughts and feelings.
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This was very timely for me to read today. We so often want to do whatever it takes to get past feeling low, hurt, uncomfortable, guilty… etc. The need to accept, work through or learn from it is what is most beneficial, long term.
Thank you. I hope to put this in action often.
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It’s like you’re in my head, Dr Perry! LOL
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So I have read this post several times over I often refer back to this post when I am having one of those days that I just don’t seem to do anything right. I am thankful for you and your blog as it has helped me several times and I hope that you keep them coming because I know I couldn’t be the only one
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I am happy to hear this post and the blog has been helpful. Thank you for your comment as it inspires me to continue my writing journey✨
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I loved and got a good laugh at the opening line about always being positive is like a sugar high. Very powerful message
However, I was super impressed that you took the time and responded to everyone!
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It’s good to find comfort in discomfort! No one has good days all the time. Loved this post.
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Thanks for this post, Dr. Perry, I love what you are saying here. Taking the pressure off feeling good all the time makes sense to me. I love what you say about reflection and identifing your what you are feeling, as well. We are fortunate enough to be blessed to have a great Dr. of Psychology like yourself, that my husband and I see from time to time. I think therapy is a great way to check in every so often. He is a big believer in mindfulness and meditation which I believe is similar to what you are saying about being in touch with your feelings whether they are negative or positive. Thank you for this wisdom Doctor, always appreciated!
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You are most welcome.
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Thanks again for the reminder, Dr. Perry! Always clean and sound direction!
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I am happy to hear this resonated with you. Thank you for commenting✨
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Thank you for sharing. Great information and advice! Recognize the bad moments but don’t stay there. Then look for the positive. Finding balance is learning to go back and forth.
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Thank you for this. It was very encouraging!
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At some point in life you realize it is okay not being okay; that’s just part of living. As I like to say Happiness is mood, just like you’re not hungry or sad all the time, you can’t be happy & okay all the time.
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I agree, great post 🙂
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Hi Dr.Perry! This post contained such powerful information! Thank you so much for sharing! I am a masters student getting my degree in clinical psychology hoping to one day help people the way you do!
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Thank you! I needed to read this today. I’ll try to sit with these feelings of sadness and I like the way you put it: There are no bad days, only bad moments from which we can learn. 😉
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Great article about the “balance” between Positivity & Negativity! I am a positive person, however, recently I was “snapping like a twig” with a coworker. Something about her personality or what she was doing frustrated and annoyed me. I had to reflect just like you suggested and decide how to be going forward. I realized with this person…I wasn’t being myself. I am kind and patient. I decided to consciously “Do Me!” I “let go” of the “white noise”…what she was doing. That has helped me restore balance and focus on my emotions, my behavior. I cannot control other people. I can only control how I am reacting. I knew I needed an attitude adjustment!!! I am a ‘work in progress.’
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Thank you for this post I really need this reminder. I always hear stuff about be positive but sometimes we need to sit with our emotions
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Really good article!
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Excellent information, Dr. Perry. You have pinpointed the happiness crisis quite well. I’ve realized for quite some time that our pill popping culture wants to eliminate uncomfortable feelings but hadn’t considered similar insidious messages from social media and marketing emphasizing that we must be happy at all times — perhaps because I actively choose to limit my exposure to these venues. All good things to be aware of, though. Your insights are most helpful!
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This is great! Everything in life needs balance. I always think back to the parable of the weeds, the owner of the field LEFT the weeds to grow and mature before uprooting them, his reasoning was: “because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them”. Even bad things, bad days, and hard seasons of life have a purpose in our life, to shape and mold us. If we try to avoid them, push them away, we will not learn the lessons that we need. We will never mature, never grow. Failure teaches us, pain makes us more enduring, more compassionate. It’s all part of the plan =)
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This makes sense. Especially the part wherein you have compared the slumber of winter with sadness. Thank you for a great, motivating and meaningful piece! 😇😊🙏
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This post is really helpful! Thanks Dr. Perry.
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You are most welcome✨
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Great post, Dr. Perry. I’m proud to add you to my list of dependable reads.
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Much needed. Thank you for such inspiration
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Someone asked me today why I always seem happy, and I said well it’s not that I’m always happy it’s that I’m always present in this moment no matter what shows up. I don’t like negative influences and people but I’ve come to see that sometimes they need you to sit with them while they soften a little. It’s definitely a more gentle way of life. IMHO. 🙏🏼🦋
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Thank you for this. ✨
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This is well written and so true. You can’t be in a permanent state of positivity. Trying to do so would make you feel negative.
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Thanks for the tips Dr Perry! Very helpful
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“Remember, there are no bad days in life, only bad moments from which we can learn lessons that will last us a lifetime.” I loved this statement in your blog. Very well written, with simple, approachable, emotional awareness steps.
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“Without darkness, how could you see light.”
Those bad days remind us how great the good days can be.
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Thank you Dr Perry, I enjoyed reading this, it’s really helpful
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I desperately needed to see and read this. Today, I have been overwhelmed with sadness, and rather than try to pinpoint the source and analyze why I’m feeling this emotion (and allow myself to feel it), I quickly stuff it in a box and put it out of sight and out of mind. Besides, since I’m strong, I’m not ever supposed to get “down”. We need to allow ourselves to “feel”, instead of letting others dictate how we should. Thanks for such a comforting post!
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Great post! For a while I was using my notes app to try and identify my triggers. Thank you!
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I love this idea, not bad days but bad moments. You gave me a lot of food for thought, thank you.
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I loved this whole article. I agree with your suggestions of taking the time to sit with our emotions instead of being on the go all the time. Some people have never actually sat alone to face themselves and schedule their lives down to the last minute, even their free time. They don’t realize it’s a form of avoidance or trying to conform to some society’s beliefs that busy busy is equivalent to being a successful person.
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Love this post. Learning how to deal with toxic people. Sucks my energy.
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Following my brain injury I became more aware of dealing with setbacks. If I had a bad day because I made a choice to do an activity that set me back I would accept it because I benefited from learning and experiencing another of my limitations. That would give me a better understanding of how to function within my limitations.
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Beautiful words, Jasper.
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Loved the post… I find a lot of times people deny their negative feelings as they have been conditioned to believe that they should always be positive. I feel it’s important to accept that we may sometimes not feel great and it’s totally ok.
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Well written piece! You are right. We are talking about positivity but we must accept our negative feelings too & move forward
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It’s fine to have a bad day. It’s also good to acknowledge those good days.
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Wonderful post and exactly the sort of message the world needs at this moment in time. I have acronym that I like to use called RAIN.
Recognise (identify the feeling)
Accept (practise acceptance of whatever is present).
Investigate (become curious- ask question about why. Try to understand the deeper meaning)
Nurture (be kind to yourself. Show yourself love by taking the time to be with your emotions. Meditate. Etc.)
Thanks for your wonderful advice again Dr. Perry.
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Wow! Beautifull written and powerfully presented. Embracing lifes storms produces the finer quality of endurance. Thank you for sharing.
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Good post! Processing bad days is important and even the bad days can have value.
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Yes, bad days happen!!! And we don’t need to avoid them or be afraid of them. Thanks for sharing this, Dr Perry.
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Wonderful reminder, thank you! I have come to look forward to the intensely painful days and nights in my own healing from trauma/PTSD, because they are my body and soul purging the toxicity, and are always followed by days and nights of bliss and gratitude, and growth, and writing. The key for me is not to fight it, not to push against it but to focus on it, go into my body and consciously let go. Those bad days are blessings.
“The shadow is a living part of the personality and therefore wants to live with it in some form. It cannot be argued out of existence or rationalized into harmlessness.”
-Jung (of course).
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Wonderful article–full of useful insights. Thank you for posting!
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Really enjoyed reading this one as well. This post reminded me of Buddha’s teaching-” follow the middle path.”
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Important message -especially in these times. Seeing too many people feeling down but pretending not to be. Oh, and the line, “Lean into the storm of uncomfortable emotions.” Excellent.
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I like how you identified the steps to recognizing and handling an emotion. Being in tune to emotions is really key.
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This is valuable therapy in a can! Thank you for being there. I’m back from an absence and hope you check in from time to time. 🙂
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I used to have a refrigerator magnet that read, “If there were no valleys, we wouldn’t appreciate the mountains.” The magnet is long gone, but I remember that quote and both use and share it as necessary.
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All I can say is absolutely. Every moment of everyday is not going to be happy. There will be days that are not going to go well, and it will be upsetting to someone. It is alright to let what you are feeling out. Everything can’t be held in; it’s not good to hold on to negative emotions. When you’re happy you’re happy, and when you are not, you’re not.
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I really enjoy reading your posts. I don’t know why I only get them randomly in my email, as I am following you. But, no matter, I enjoy them, and they give me a great deal of guidance. Thank you, I needed this today!
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