What Are You Willing To Allow?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay Unfortunately, there are individuals who believe they are doomed to duplicate past mistakes and to repeat the same pattern of negative experiences. They mistakenly believe that it is their fault or their destiny to attract negative behaviors from others.  They expect to experience and accept horrible behaviors from people they have allowed into their intimate circle of friends. Throughout their lives, their personal boundaries have been chiseled away to the point thatRead more

How to Let Go of Control

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas Kempis Many of us attempt to do the impossible on a daily basis. In an effort to prove that we have control over our lives we try to control everything in our environment including the people around us. Essentially, we are trying to control our inner lifeRead more

The Psychopath Behind The Mask

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.”  ~Rick Riordan Hiding in plain sight under the guise of normalcy, they patiently wait to pounce on their next target. The psychopath is a dangerous animal because they are camouflaged to look like you and me, but they lack a key ingredient of what makes us human; a conscience. The main characteristic of a psychopath is the lack of a conscience. Unlike most humans, theyRead more

Break Free From The Stimulation Nation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I believe people are afraid to be still because we’re used to being stimulated.” ~Michael W. Smith When was the last time you sat alone in silence without anything or anyone to distract you? For many of us, it is difficult to be alone without something to entertain us or to focus our attention on. In its most obvious and prevalent form, the distraction comes in the form of our mobile phones. TheRead more

How to Spot an Emotional Bully 

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. The reality is that, unless you are machine or lack basic human emotions, negative words and behaviors do have a profound effect on the way you feel about yourself. Fortunately, in our current society, we have become vigilant and sensitive to all forms of bullying.  As a result, we are quick to notice thisRead more

Are You or Someone You Know Raising a Narcissist?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay There is a well-known statistic that states that up to 6 percent of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My math may be slightly incorrect but that is approximately 20 million people. One out of 16 people suffers from NPD. What is extremely interesting is that only 3 percent of those over 65 years of age report having any experience with NPD compared to 10 percent of people inRead more

How to Spot Psychological Manipulators

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous Like the waves that forcefully crash on the shore and later gracefully retreat, there is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt. We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions. ThereRead more

The Hollow Man – A Look at Narcissism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Carl Jung The narcissist is much like the hollow plaster statues that are cast to look like those made of solid marble. The facade may be pleasing and alluring, much like Michelangelo’s David. But, if you look closely you will soon realize that the form is actually empty and shallow. An individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has an inner frailty that they have triedRead more

How to Turn Negative Urges into Positive Actions

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye Sublimation is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism whereby we take a negative impulse and channel it into a positive behavior. This is similar to displacement (click here to refer to my earlier post on displacement) but instead of taking a negative impulse, such as aggression towards one’s boss, and displacing that negative feeling onto an innocent third partyRead more

Choose Your Attitude Don’t Let It Choose You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~Maya Angelou Last summer I was able to take some time off work and fly to Paris. On one particular day while on vacation, I bravely chose to wander the crowded hallways of The Palace of Versailles along with hundreds of others. Click here to see some photos. While shuffling along the cordoned-off walkway there was aRead more

Why Do You Blog?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay We all have our personal reasons for wanting to publically journal or dare to attempt to write for others. I started my blog 3 years ago as a way to escape. At this time, I was beginning to work on my Ph.D. My proposal had been approved and now came the difficult part of literature research and writing down coherently on paper what I had in my head. I remember the exactRead more

How To Regain Your Balance When Life Knocks You Down

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~Gail Sheehy We have all heard the expression that life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment you are skipping down the yellow brick road towards your happily ever after unaware that the paved road is about to turn to dirt. You work hard and feel that you are deserving of the life youRead more

It’s Ok To Feel Your Feelings

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.” ~Dolly Parton There seems to be a perception that certain feelings are bad and others are good. While some feelings such as happiness may feel better than sadness, it is important to remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional beings and we possess a wide spectrum of feelings, which have a purposeRead more

Are You a Good Friend to Yourself?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson What kind of friend are you? Are you attentive, kind and compassionate or, are you neglectful, uncaring and critical? Scrolling through quotes on the internet, I was reminded of the immense value we place on friendship. Throughout the ages, the special bond that forms between two strangers has been the source of poetic inspiration and noble reflections. Often, the friendships weRead more

How to Assess the Quality of Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius I am at a place in my life where I am able to slow down and momentarily pause. Every now and then it is important to stop to appreciate and reflect on our life’s journey. We must make a conscious decision to be fully present when facing life-defining moments. Learn to be happyRead more

Are You in Control of Your Life?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control.” ~Epictetus Every morning before I head to the office, I go online and check the traffic report. I mentally rehearse my drive, avoiding all congested roadways, and check my backup route just in case. I have a cup of coffee, check my watch, and briefcase in hand, dash through the front door. I try to control my exposure toRead more

How to Identify & Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” ~Maya Angelou At one time or another in life, we all have felt that perhaps we were not worthy of the life we have or the praise and recognition we receive from others. You wake up feeling that the shoes you walk inRead more

L.E.T. G.O.™ of Toxic Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ~John Mark Green I would like to share with you an acronym that I created for my patients who are dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship. This acronym is a reminder to not form an attachment to an unhealthy bond by giving it your time and energy. The relationshipRead more

It’s Ok To Have A Bad Day

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I believe in maintaining a positive attitude in my life. But I also acknowledge that life is not perfect. It is impossible to live your life in an inexhaustible positive state of mind similar to a sugar high. Everywhere we look we are being told to be happy and that we have the abilityRead more

How to Cope with Negative Emotions

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness.” ~ Joel Osteen I am a mental health professional but I am also human and I like you experience a wide range of emotions. I am not a superhero with an impenetrable shield that causes all negative feelings to bounceRead more

Living Life One Pause at a Time

By Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” ~Anonymous What if all we are is a fleeting and fragile physical manifestation of our thoughts; unconnected floating ideas that bind together to form the physical representation of your selfRead more

What Lies Beneath Your Emotions – Reaction Formation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” ~Albert Ellis What if you hated someone who you were socially and morally expected to love? For instance, what if you felt hate for your sibling, child or spouse? These feelings, if openly expressed and acknowledged, would be reprehensible to you. According to the theory of reaction formation, these feelings that we fear and deny will cause our unconscious to exaggerate the opposite ofRead more

The Power of Empathy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck The ability to see and feel the world from another person’s point of view is one of the most powerful human traits. Empathy allows you to transport yourself into another person and to experience the world through their eyes. Without empathy, we are empty vessels; nothing more than singular and isolated figures unable to connect with the world around us.Read more

Is FOMO Ruining Your Life?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” ~Ann Brashares We are living in an age of ubiquitous distractions and interruptions. Technology has given us the ability to stay connected to each other every single second of the day. You can watch events unfold throughout the world in the palm of your hand. Like no other time in history, you are given unparalleled access to the lives ofRead more

What To Do If your Boss is a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What do you mean they do not know who I am? I am… Y.” ~Narcissistic Boss One of the most important relationships that we have, whether we like it or not, is with our boss. Many of us work 40 hour weeks or more and are often shadowed by a direct supervisor. By boss, I mean your employer or anyone who has a direct supervisory role over you. We would all loveRead more

You Teach Others How To Treat You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You teach people how to treat you.” ~Oprah Winfrey Many of us are living our lives repeating the same heartbreaking and unhealthy patterns. We appear to be stuck on replay unable to move forward while continually duplicating the chaos that caused us to leave our last relationship. Perhaps there is a belief that we have a “type” that we attract. We seem to get involved emotionally with the same type of personRead more

Share & Promote Your Blog

Dear readers, I want to create a directory for my readers to connect with each other. If you would like to share your blog, please leave a description of what readers will find if they visit your site. Hopefully, this will create positive connectivity for our blogging community. Please share this post! Kindly, Dr. Perry http://www.DrEricPerry.com Education: Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology M.A. in Clinical Psychology B.A. in Psychology DISCLAIMER The materials and content contained in this website are for generalRead more

Finding Life in the Shadow of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric PerryImage Credit: Pixabay “Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden.” ~Mary Engelbreit Life is complicated. One day we open our eyes and find ourselves in a life that we have no idea how we entered into willingly. We have painted ourselves into the proverbial corner with no window or door for escape. This is how many people describe feeling when they come to realize that their life partner is a narcissist. Perhaps you have aRead more

You Are Not Damaged

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay It saddens me to hear people refer to themselves as being damaged. They speak about themselves as if they are a commodity that is for sale; a product whose price has been reduced for a perceived flaw. Often this expression is accompanied by the idea that no one would want to be with them. This idea of being damaged often stems from some form of abuse where the learned message was thatRead more

A Look Inside the Mind of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay ” But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” ~Ellie Fox An individual with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has spent most of their life creating the illusion of a confident and self-assured individual. Tightly wound up in this facade is the desperate struggle to maintain this self-created image. Much like a toddler swimming in aRead more

The Power of Positive Visualization

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein In my professional life, I recommend to my patients that they practice a bit of time travel. I ask them to imagine traveling into the future and to make positive visualizations about the time to come. They can imagine whatever they wish, but it must be positive. By focusing our minds on positivity, we can learn toRead more

What Does Your Social Media Say About Your Mental Health?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.” ~Dalai Lama Like many of you, I have a personal Instagram (IG) account where I like to share nature photography and images of trips I have taken. Essentially, I use IG as an extension of my memory and like the easy access when I want to reminisce. I amRead more

How to Find Meaning In Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “There’s nothing like impending death to rouse you from existential boredom.” ~Roger Ebert One of my pet peeves is to hear others complain about how bored they are with life. They wonder out loud, “What is the purpose of it all if we are going to die anyway?” To be bored with our life is a luxury we cannot afford and should not indulge. I believe that this combination of boredom andRead more

Narcissism vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay I often see narcissism confused with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The terms are often used interchangeably in everyday conversations, the media and in books. It appears that the term “narcissist” has become the latest catchword to describe a multitude of behaviors including being obnoxious. I am not defending or justifying the behavior of individuals who suffer from NPD. I am merely pointing out that the term is currently overused and isRead more

A Sacred Space Called Therapy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The end of confession is, to tell the truth to and for oneself.” ~J. M. Coetzee I am frequently asked by potential patients, what they should expect from therapy. The answer to this largely depends on you. Therapy is a powerful tool that can provide you with life-changing insights into why you do certain things. The benefits are immeasurable, but therapy is not a one size fits all approach. What you will gainRead more

Awaken The New Year 2019

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.” ~Theodore Roethke I enjoy waking up before my alarm clock and laying in silence, surrounded by the familiar comfort of my home. I am an active dreamer both in sleep and in life. Often I wake in the middle of a dream and am leftRead more

How To Avoid Turning The Holidays into The Hellidays

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay The holiday season is upon us. Everywhere I look I am greeted with reminders that Christmas is around the corner. I have to admit I love the look and smell of a douglas fir completely decorated with colorful and bright ornaments. It brings back wonderful childhood memories. To some of us, the holidays are a dreaded time of year. The bombardment of constant reminders may actually cause anxiety as we look forwardRead more

Don’t Miss the Opportunity to Show Kindness

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay This past weekend, I was out running errands that I wasn’t able to complete during the week. Between my work and personal life, I seem to be always running towards something. It feels as if my life is moving at a fast speed. I personally do not mind the pace but I still make sure to check in with myself to ensure that I am not mindlessly going through the motions. IRead more

Is There Such a Thing as Being Too Positive?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay  “Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt I am not a thin-skinned individual who cannot accept criticism, but I do make a conscious effort to block all negativity from my blog. I want my blog to be a place where I can share educational, motivational, inspirational and uplifting posts. IRead more

7 Signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The world cannot be the mirror to your soul.” ~MakeItUltra™ I was recently asked to explain histrionic personality disorder also known as HPD. Histrionic personality disorder is a psychological disorder that can affect both men and women. A person with HPD will have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. It is as though they have a hole in their soul. They often are described as drama queens and display outlandishRead more

7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein We all have bad days. Have you ever had the kind of day that makes you think, “What is it all about?” We might start questioning our jobs and even our lives. Pretty soon we find ourselves spiraling into sadness. It is important not to get stuck in a whirlpool of negativity. Always keep moving forward because tomorrow will beRead more

5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I am a professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of my existence unless I become aRead more

5 Amazing Benefits of Classical Music🎼

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Music is the universal language of mankind” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Around my house, I am known as the music man. I have the habit of walking around playing music out loud from my phone. I have my own personal soundtrack to my life, continuously playing. Music for me is like a dose of happiness. I love all types of music. It makes me feel joyful and optimistic. When I write I love to listen toRead more

How to Slow Down Time ⌛️

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss 1. Live for now, not for later We can only experience happiness in the present moment. Just because we are in the middle of a mundane project does not mean we cannot reflect on this fortunate opportunity to participate in the dance of life. Our moments are so fleeting. A day will pass so quickly, even when doing something we do not want to do. ItRead more