How to Set Boundaries with a Toxic Personiy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” ~Hans F. Hansen We all know at least one person who seems to walk around in a state of doom and gloom. They are in short supply of joy but have an overabundance of negativity. This individual may be a friend, family member, loved one or co-worker. Often times, it is someone you briefly encounter in your daily life; such as, the personRead more

What Are You Psychologically Projecting?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~Herman Hesse Do you view the world through the sunny optimism of rose-colored lenses or is the tint of your worldview darker and more gloomy? One’s view of the world has a lot to do with the internal script created by one’s unconscious mind. You are both the author,Read more

How to Spot Psychological Manipulators

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous Like the waves that forcefully crash on the shore and later gracefully retreat, there is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt. We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions. ThereRead more

Are You in Control of Your Life?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control.” ~Epictetus Every morning before I head to the office, I go online and check the traffic report. I mentally rehearse my drive, avoiding all congested roadways, and check my backup route just in case. I have a cup of coffee, check my watch, and briefcase in hand, dash through the front door. I try to control my exposure toRead more

Is FOMO Ruining Your Life?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” ~Ann Brashares We are living in an age of ubiquitous distractions and interruptions. Technology has given us the ability to stay connected to each other every single second of the day. You can watch events unfold throughout the world in the palm of your hand. Like no other time in history, you are given unparalleled access to the lives ofRead more

The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” ~Will Rogers Wherever we look, we are constantly being fed the idea that we need more “stuff.” We have 24-hour television channels devoted entirely to entice us to buy more and more items we don’t really need. Every commercial break is an opportunity to sell to a captive audience. For those who do not watchRead more

Living Life One Pause at a Time

By Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” ~Anonymous What if all we are is a fleeting and fragile physical manifestation of our thoughts; unconnected floating ideas that bind together to form the physical representation of your selfRead more

How to Cope with Negative Emotions

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness.” ~ Joel Osteen I am a mental health professional but I am also human and I like you experience a wide range of emotions. I am not a superhero with an impenetrable shield that causes all negative feelings to bounceRead more

What Are You Willing To Allow?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay Unfortunately, there are individuals who believe they are doomed to duplicate past mistakes and to repeat the same pattern of negative experiences. They mistakenly believe that it is their fault or their destiny to attract negative behaviors from others.  They expect to experience and accept horrible behaviors from people they have allowed into their intimate circle of friends. Throughout their lives, their personal boundaries have been chiseled away to the point thatRead more

7 Easy Tips for Living Longer

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.” ~Seneca Perhaps like some of you, I have had a few sleepless nights pondering my mortality. I am in love with my life and wish to have as much of it as I possibly can. I believe Seneca had the right idea when he wrote this quote, but I do believe you can live long and well if you follow these 7Read more

How to Manage Your Anxiety in an Anxious World

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia Millions of us are living lives disproportionately full of worry. This excessive worrying outweighs the possible impact that the occurrence of the anxiety-provoking event would have on our lives. We are not able to manage or control the thoughts that flood our minds. We are consumed with worry about family, health, work and everyday life events.Read more

How to Let Go of Control

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas Kempis Many of us attempt to do the impossible on a daily basis. In an effort to prove that we have control over our lives we try to control everything in our environment including the people around us. Essentially, we are trying to control our inner lifeRead more

What Is Your Attachment Style?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are limited and some studies suggest that full brain development does not occur until we are 25 years of age. Further studiesRead more

The Psychopath Behind The Mask

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.”  ~Rick Riordan Hiding in plain sight under the guise of normalcy, they patiently wait to pounce on their next target. The psychopath is a dangerous animal because they are camouflaged to look like you and me, but they lack a key ingredient of what makes us human; a conscience. The main characteristic of a psychopath is the lack of a conscience. Unlike most humans, theyRead more

Break Free From The Stimulation Nation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I believe people are afraid to be still because we’re used to being stimulated.” ~Michael W. Smith When was the last time you sat alone in silence without anything or anyone to distract you? For many of us, it is difficult to be alone without something to entertain us or to focus our attention on. In its most obvious and prevalent form, the distraction comes in the form of our mobile phones. TheRead more

How to Spot an Emotional Bully 

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. The reality is that, unless you are machine or lack basic human emotions, negative words and behaviors do have a profound effect on the way you feel about yourself. Fortunately, in our current society, we have become vigilant and sensitive to all forms of bullying.  As a result, we are quick to notice thisRead more

Are You or Someone You Know Raising a Narcissist?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay There is a well-known statistic that states that up to 6 percent of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My math may be slightly incorrect but that is approximately 20 million people. One out of 16 people suffers from NPD. What is extremely interesting is that only 3 percent of those over 65 years of age report having any experience with NPD compared to 10 percent of people inRead more

The Hollow Man – A Look at Narcissism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Carl Jung The narcissist is much like the hollow plaster statues that are cast to look like those made of solid marble. The facade may be pleasing and alluring, much like Michelangelo’s David. But, if you look closely you will soon realize that the form is actually empty and shallow. An individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has an inner frailty that they have triedRead more

How to Turn Negative Urges into Positive Actions

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye Sublimation is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism whereby we take a negative impulse and channel it into a positive behavior. This is similar to displacement (click here to refer to my earlier post on displacement) but instead of taking a negative impulse, such as aggression towards one’s boss, and displacing that negative feeling onto an innocent third partyRead more

Signs of Collective Narcissism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “In the final analysis I believe in man in spite of men.” ~Elie Wiesel I recall as a young boy thinking of girls as alien beings inhabiting the same planet but playing by a whole different set of rules. They were seen as the enemy and I was convinced that boys were superior to girls. I recall my sister arguing that boys had cooties and that girls rule. I believe she wonRead more

Choose Your Attitude Don’t Let It Choose You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~Maya Angelou Last summer I was able to take some time off work and fly to Paris. On one particular day while on vacation, I bravely chose to wander the crowded hallways of The Palace of Versailles along with hundreds of others. Click here to see some photos. While shuffling along the cordoned-off walkway there was aRead more

Do You Know Your Shadow Side?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Hello darkness, my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence” ~Simon & Garfunkel Like Dr. Jekyll and his evil shadow Mr. Hyde, most of us are completely unaware of the constant dark companion that dwells within us. Our shadow side, according to C.G. Jung, theRead more

Why Do You Blog?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay We all have our personal reasons for wanting to publically journal or dare to attempt to write for others. I started my blog 3 years ago as a way to escape. At this time, I was beginning to work on my Ph.D. My proposal had been approved and now came the difficult part of literature research and writing down coherently on paper what I had in my head. I remember the exactRead more

How To Regain Your Balance When Life Knocks You Down

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~Gail Sheehy We have all heard the expression that life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment you are skipping down the yellow brick road towards your happily ever after unaware that the paved road is about to turn to dirt. You work hard and feel that you are deserving of the life youRead more

It’s Ok To Feel Your Feelings

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.” ~Dolly Parton There seems to be a perception that certain feelings are bad and others are good. While some feelings such as happiness may feel better than sadness, it is important to remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional beings and we possess a wide spectrum of feelings, which have a purposeRead more

Are You a Good Friend to Yourself?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson What kind of friend are you? Are you attentive, kind and compassionate or, are you neglectful, uncaring and critical? Scrolling through quotes on the internet, I was reminded of the immense value we place on friendship. Throughout the ages, the special bond that forms between two strangers has been the source of poetic inspiration and noble reflections. Often, the friendships weRead more

How to Assess the Quality of Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius I am at a place in my life where I am able to slow down and momentarily pause. Every now and then it is important to stop to appreciate and reflect on our life’s journey. We must make a conscious decision to be fully present when facing life-defining moments. Learn to be happyRead more

How to Identify & Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” ~Maya Angelou At one time or another in life, we all have felt that perhaps we were not worthy of the life we have or the praise and recognition we receive from others. You wake up feeling that the shoes you walk inRead more

L.E.T. G.O.™ of Toxic Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ~John Mark Green I would like to share with you an acronym that I created for my patients who are dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship. This acronym is a reminder to not form an attachment to an unhealthy bond by giving it your time and energy. The relationshipRead more

It’s Ok To Have A Bad Day

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I believe in maintaining a positive attitude in my life. But I also acknowledge that life is not perfect. It is impossible to live your life in an inexhaustible positive state of mind similar to a sugar high. Everywhere we look we are being told to be happy and that we have the abilityRead more

How Creative Are Your Dreams?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “I have everything I need in my daydreams. A big home, fast car, money and tons of good friends. I could never have that in my so-called real life so why try?” ~Anonymous Maladaptive daydreaming is a psychological concept that was first introduced in 2002 by Eli Somer, a clinical psychologist who specializes in traumatized patients. Dr. Somer found that patients who suffer early trauma regularly escape into a world of imagination where they fantasize compensatory empoweringRead more

Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “An eye for an eye will only make the world blind” ~Mahatma Gandhi Arguments and relationships go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, arguments are not as sweet as jelly and don’t go over as smooth as peanut butter. When we argue with our loved ones, it is important to remember that it’s not necessary to deliver a knock out blow. Think of the argument as a heart toRead more

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I am the greatest obstacle to my greatest dreams.” ~Craig D. Lounsbrough The subconscious mind is like an overgrown hedge maze. We enter it thinking we can quickly get through to the other side only to realize we are lost somewhere in the middle. How often do you set out to accomplish a task only to start ruminating about something that went wrong in your life? Lost in thought we forget thatRead more

5 Important Qualities of Leadership

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” ~John Quincy Adams Whether we are trying to lead a country or a household, we must remember it is both a privilege and a challenge to be given an opportunity to lead. Leaders are not born but molded by the waves of life. Daily life truly is the best classroom and we must treat every obstacleRead more

Identifying Narcissistic Triangulation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry What does it take to have a healthy relationship? Whether it is in love, friendship, work relationships or family relationships, they all need mutual respect in order to thrive. One of the reasons narcissists are not able to have healthy relationships is because they do not respect people. To the narcissist, people exist solely for their benefit. They need a steady and constant supply of attention, approval, admiration, adoration and worship to feel alive andRead more

4 Behaviors to Avoid In Your Relationship

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “When she asked him whether it was true that love conquered all, as the songs said. ‘It is true’, he replied, ‘but you would do well not to believe it.” ~Gabriel Garcia Marquez We would all like to believe that when we fall in love it will be forever. The truth is, love is a complicated and fluctuating emotion. It is not a superhero power that will conquer all of life’s problems. One has to treatRead more

How to Overcome the Discard Stage of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Here is a new car, a new iPhone. We buy. We discard. We buy again. In recent years, we’ve been doing it faster.” ~Arlie Russell Hochschild So here you are, in the middle of the aftermath and wreckage. You have been left behind by a cold-hearted narcissist who once intoxicated you with love and admiration. You most likely are feeling confused, hurt, overwhelmed and angry. You bought into the love bombing. You sacrificed lifeRead more

What Lies Beneath Your Emotions – Reaction Formation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” ~Albert Ellis What if you hated someone who you were socially and morally expected to love? For instance, what if you felt hate for your sibling, child or spouse? These feelings, if openly expressed and acknowledged, would be reprehensible to you. According to the theory of reaction formation, these feelings that we fear and deny will cause our unconscious to exaggerate the opposite ofRead more

The Power of Empathy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck The ability to see and feel the world from another person’s point of view is one of the most powerful human traits. Empathy allows you to transport yourself into another person and to experience the world through their eyes. Without empathy, we are empty vessels; nothing more than singular and isolated figures unable to connect with the world around us.Read more

How To Spot Deception

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “He who has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” ~Sigmund Freud In my profession, it is important to know if someone is lying to me or more importantly to themselves. Whether it is a small lie or a malicious lie, everyone lies at some point. ResearchRead more

The Power of Self-Talk

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama XIV Like a faithful shadow on a sunny afternoon, we are accompanied throughout our lives by a constant inner monologue. This voice has been with us since childhood and reflects both conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs. It may be positive, neutral or negative. Although difficult to study because inner speech is an internal process, there areRead more

What To Do If your Boss is a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What do you mean they do not know who I am? I am… Y.” ~Narcissistic Boss One of the most important relationships that we have, whether we like it or not, is with our boss. Many of us work 40 hour weeks or more and are often shadowed by a direct supervisor. By boss, I mean your employer or anyone who has a direct supervisory role over you. We would all loveRead more

You Teach Others How To Treat You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You teach people how to treat you.” ~Oprah Winfrey Many of us are living our lives repeating the same heartbreaking and unhealthy patterns. We appear to be stuck on replay unable to move forward while continually duplicating the chaos that caused us to leave our last relationship. Perhaps there is a belief that we have a “type” that we attract. We seem to get involved emotionally with the same type of personRead more

5 Signs of Multiple Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay Dissociative Identity Disorder, previously known as multiple personality disorder is a complex psychological disorder, which is difficult to diagnose and controversial. It is characterized by severe episodes of dissociation. Dissociative behavior can be divided into two categories: detachment and compartmentalization. Detachment is a voluntary or involuntary feeling or emotion that accompanies a sense of separation from normal associations or environment. Compartmentalization is a splitting off of the personality into separate parts whereRead more

Share & Promote Your Blog

Dear readers, I want to create a directory for my readers to connect with each other. If you would like to share your blog, please leave a description of what readers will find if they visit your site. Hopefully, this will create positive connectivity for our blogging community. Please share this post! Kindly, Dr. Perry http://www.DrEricPerry.com Education: Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology M.A. in Clinical Psychology B.A. in Psychology DISCLAIMER The materials and content contained in this website are for generalRead more

Finding Life in the Shadow of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric PerryImage Credit: Pixabay “Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden.” ~Mary Engelbreit Life is complicated. One day we open our eyes and find ourselves in a life that we have no idea how we entered into willingly. We have painted ourselves into the proverbial corner with no window or door for escape. This is how many people describe feeling when they come to realize that their life partner is a narcissist. Perhaps you have aRead more

Understanding the Grief and Loss Cycle

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.” ~Kristina McMorris The cycle of life is both beautiful and heartbreaking. From the moment of our birth, we share a common destiny with the rest of the world. The mortality that connects us makes life that much more remarkable. Knowing that death awaits us and our loved ones may be a haunting and difficult thought to bear. Truly, oneRead more

You Are Not Damaged

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay It saddens me to hear people refer to themselves as being damaged. They speak about themselves as if they are a commodity that is for sale; a product whose price has been reduced for a perceived flaw. Often this expression is accompanied by the idea that no one would want to be with them. This idea of being damaged often stems from some form of abuse where the learned message was thatRead more

A Look Inside the Mind of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay ” But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” ~Ellie Fox An individual with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has spent most of their life creating the illusion of a confident and self-assured individual. Tightly wound up in this facade is the desperate struggle to maintain this self-created image. Much like a toddler swimming in aRead more

Exposing the Narcissistic Parent

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Having a narcissistic parent is like living life as a human doormat.” ~ Anonymous Children come into the world much like new-born ducklings ready to imprint on their caretakers. They are innocent blank slates waiting to learn the ways of the world. Like a bud on the vine, with proper care, children blossom and grow to be mentally and physically healthy adults. Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose our parents. While some of us endRead more

The Impact of Narcissistic Parents

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I always felt like I was an extra appendage having no life of my own. All of us kids belonging to an octopus mom.” ~Anonymous It is an understatement to state that parenting is difficult. It is perhaps the only job a person can get that is full-time and for life without having all the requisite skills and qualifications. The responsibility is great. One must equip a child with all the necessaryRead more

The Psychological Defense Mechanism of Displacement

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.” ~Sheryl Sandberg Our emotional responses to everyday life events do not always take a linear path from perception to a reaction. Every day we encounter an endless assembly line of external stimuli that we must quickly access, process and classify. Our brains must categorize these happenings and life moments quickly in order to respond appropriately. Often our subconscious will identify some event asRead more

The Power of Positive Visualization

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein In my professional life, I recommend to my patients that they practice a bit of time travel. I ask them to imagine traveling into the future and to make positive visualizations about the time to come. They can imagine whatever they wish, but it must be positive. By focusing our minds on positivity, we can learn toRead more

How to Spot the Shy (Covert) Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Don’t be fooled by the title. There is nothing cute or innocent about this stealthy narcissist, also known as the covert narcissist. A covert narcissist is a narcissist who suffers from low self-esteem. He or she is seeking the same glory and power as the classic narcissist but does not possess the same outwardly bravado. They have all the attributes of an overt narcissist but hide behind many masks. In my clinical experience, those who permit a covertRead more

What Does Your Social Media Say About Your Mental Health?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Too much self-centered attitude, you see, brings, you see, isolation. Result: loneliness, fear, anger. The extreme self-centered attitude is the source of suffering.” ~Dalai Lama Like many of you, I have a personal Instagram (IG) account where I like to share nature photography and images of trips I have taken. Essentially, I use IG as an extension of my memory and like the easy access when I want to reminisce. I amRead more

How to Find Meaning In Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “There’s nothing like impending death to rouse you from existential boredom.” ~Roger Ebert One of my pet peeves is to hear others complain about how bored they are with life. They wonder out loud, “What is the purpose of it all if we are going to die anyway?” To be bored with our life is a luxury we cannot afford and should not indulge. I believe that this combination of boredom andRead more

Narcissism vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay I often see narcissism confused with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The terms are often used interchangeably in everyday conversations, the media and in books. It appears that the term “narcissist” has become the latest catchword to describe a multitude of behaviors including being obnoxious. I am not defending or justifying the behavior of individuals who suffer from NPD. I am merely pointing out that the term is currently overused and isRead more

Self-Acceptance in the Social Media Age

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~Marilyn Monroe We are living in a world where we are able to form a virtual reality presence on a number of different platforms. Currently, we have YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and numerous other social media and dating apps available to us. Many of us use these apps recreationally for a healthy amount of time. Current research shows thatRead more

A Sacred Space Called Therapy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The end of confession is, to tell the truth to and for oneself.” ~J. M. Coetzee I am frequently asked by potential patients, what they should expect from therapy. The answer to this largely depends on you. Therapy is a powerful tool that can provide you with life-changing insights into why you do certain things. The benefits are immeasurable, but therapy is not a one size fits all approach. What you will gainRead more

Awaken The New Year 2019

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.” ~Theodore Roethke I enjoy waking up before my alarm clock and laying in silence, surrounded by the familiar comfort of my home. I am an active dreamer both in sleep and in life. Often I wake in the middle of a dream and am leftRead more

How To Avoid Turning The Holidays into The Hellidays

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay The holiday season is upon us. Everywhere I look I am greeted with reminders that Christmas is around the corner. I have to admit I love the look and smell of a douglas fir completely decorated with colorful and bright ornaments. It brings back wonderful childhood memories. To some of us, the holidays are a dreaded time of year. The bombardment of constant reminders may actually cause anxiety as we look forwardRead more

Don’t Miss the Opportunity to Show Kindness

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay This past weekend, I was out running errands that I wasn’t able to complete during the week. Between my work and personal life, I seem to be always running towards something. It feels as if my life is moving at a fast speed. I personally do not mind the pace but I still make sure to check in with myself to ensure that I am not mindlessly going through the motions. IRead more

Is There Such a Thing as Being Too Positive?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay  “Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt I am not a thin-skinned individual who cannot accept criticism, but I do make a conscious effort to block all negativity from my blog. I want my blog to be a place where I can share educational, motivational, inspirational and uplifting posts. IRead more

Is Gratitude Overrated?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been told by more than one patient that the word “gratitude” has become very cliche. They are constantly being told to be grateful as if it is a fix all toRead more

How to Deal with a Co-worker Who Won’t Stop Talking

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If my headphone are in, I am probably trying to do some work.” ~Anonymous I was in an office setting this past week. As I spoke to the receptionist her co-worker was loudly sharing a personal story. I could tell the receptionist was uncomfortable and was trying to get her co-worker to stop talking. I found myself not only listening to very personal details of someone’s life but incredibly I was also being askedRead more

3 Steps to Create a Self-Care Plan

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~Oscar Wilde In one way or another, we are all caretakers. Caretaking can be found in all aspects of life. Some of us are caretakers in a professional capacity. We may work in mental health, the medical field, or other professions that require us to take care of others. Others assume the role of a caretaker in their daily lives as parents or inRead more

7 Signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The world cannot be the mirror to your soul.” ~MakeItUltra™ I was recently asked to explain histrionic personality disorder also known as HPD. Histrionic personality disorder is a psychological disorder that can affect both men and women. A person with HPD will have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. It is as though they have a hole in their soul. They often are described as drama queens and display outlandishRead more

How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let’s meet at noon at the gym – oh wait, you probably don’t know where that is.” ~ Anonymous We all have that friend, co-worker or family member who has a special way of saying seemingly harmless words that makes us feel like we have been slapped across the face with a rose only to later find we have been embedded with thorns. These same individuals have the habit of doing or purposely not doingRead more

7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein We all have bad days. Have you ever had the kind of day that makes you think, “What is it all about?” We might start questioning our jobs and even our lives. Pretty soon we find ourselves spiraling into sadness. It is important not to get stuck in a whirlpool of negativity. Always keep moving forward because tomorrow will beRead more

How to Have Healthy Alone Time

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~ Aristotle When was the last time you had a day to yourself? If you are like most people it was probably a while ago. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by external stimuli. All of the noise has caused many of us to lose touch with our inner voice. Whether it is five minutes or an hour, having timeRead more

How to Recover From a Mistake Using G.R.O.W.T.H.™

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~Johnny Cash Mr. Cash was a smart man who brilliantly summed up how we should treat our mistakes. We must acknowledge that making mistakes isRead more

How to Overcome Technology Addiction

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” ~Seneca We live in a world where most of our life essentials are one click away. Food, clothing, companionship, entertainment, and even sex can be attained by just a click. More and more we are giving our vital life energy to electronic devices. Look around. I am quite sure you will see what is becoming a familiar norm. The bent head,Read more

5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I am a professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of my existence unless I become aRead more

5 Signs You Haven’t Fully Healed from Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Narcissistic people are always struggling with the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around them.” ~Unknown It is common for individuals who experience narcissistic abuse to suffer in silence or not even know that they are being abused. Because narcissists are master manipulators, they can be very difficult to spot. Narcissist abuse syndrome is a term used by mental health professionals to describe individuals who have been victimized to the extent thatRead more

5 Amazing Benefits of Classical Music🎼

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Music is the universal language of mankind” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Around my house, I am known as the music man. I have the habit of walking around playing music out loud from my phone. I have my own personal soundtrack to my life, continuously playing. Music for me is like a dose of happiness. I love all types of music. It makes me feel joyful and optimistic. When I write I love to listen toRead more

The Power of Laughter

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” ~Unknown 1900 BC The worlds oldest recorded joke dates back to 1900 BC. This joke proves that toilet humor has been around for a very long time along with mankind’s need to laugh. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with the serious side of life. We have 24-hour news stations, Twitter, Instagram, SnapchatRead more

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker 1. Identify current boundary crossers The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person make you feel? Most likely, telling this person how you feel will get you nowhere. They may even get satisfaction from hearing your plea. Remember, it is not uncommon for boundary crossers to be veryRead more

Simple Steps for Eating Mindfully

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Mindful eating means simply eating or drinking while being aware of each bite or sip.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh In our fast-paced society and the ever-present need to multi-task, many of us have forgotten the joys of eating. I personally know what it’s like to be so busy I forget to stop and smell the spaghetti :). This was written as a reminder to myself. Here are 5 tips on how to eat more mindfully. 1. Recognize ifRead more

5 Benefits of Having an Imaginary Childhood Friend

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won over it.” ~Elwood Dowd-Harvey I love old movies. One of my favorites is Harvey, a 1950’s comedy that stars James Stewart. He plays a character named Elwood P. Dowd who has a companion named Harvey. The funny and problematic part is that Harvey is a 6’3 1/2″ tall invisible rabbit. In the real world, seeing imaginary beings as anRead more

9 Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle. And not mind being eccentric, and make distinction between good and evil.” ~Vincent Van Gogh The purpose of this article is to educate readers on a serious mental illness that is said to affect 1.6% to 5.9% of adults in America. This is from 4 million to 14 million people. The purpose of this article is NOT to vilify or shame individuals who sufferRead more

How to Slow Down Time ⌛️

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss 1. Live for now, not for later We can only experience happiness in the present moment. Just because we are in the middle of a mundane project does not mean we cannot reflect on this fortunate opportunity to participate in the dance of life. Our moments are so fleeting. A day will pass so quickly, even when doing something we do not want to do. ItRead more

5 Easy Steps to Deal with Negative People

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” ~Joyce Meyer 1. Recognize and accept their toxicity First and foremost, it is important to identify and accept that someone we know is a negative person. This can be difficult, especially when the person is someone we care about. Either way, we must be careful not to allow their negativity to transfer onto us. We need to accept that negativity is toxic and will only breed more negativity. It isRead more

How to Avoid Burning Out

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A good rest is half the work.” ~Buddhist Proverb 1. Remember why you started What has inspired you to be on the path you are on? Anytime we forget our roots or the purpose for why we are in our current situation, it is easy to see our challenges only as difficulties. How many challenges have you overcome to get where you are? I am sure there are too many to count. It might be helpful toRead more

How to Let Go of the Past

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.” ~Jessica Hatchigan 1. Recognize that we have a choice Whenever we get stuck in the past, most likely it is because we are being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. These intrusions appear as regret, anger, hatred, resentment or sadness. When we get caught by this web of negativity, it is extremely difficult to remember that we have a choice. We can choose to break free from this cycle by realizing that each thoughtRead more

How to Deal with Emotional Vampires

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown 1. Don’t be guilted or show pity Emotional vampires are great at using guilt or pity to control and manipulate others. If you show any sign of guilt or pity, you become an easy target. It is important to be decisive, direct and non-reactive when dealing withRead more

5 Signs of Codependency

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A lot of the time codependency looks like intense love, but “needing” another person often stems from fear, not love.” ~Jennifer Kass 1. You feel like you will die without the other person The first time I ever experienced what I would call true love, I began to think about my mortality more than ever. I would think about the fact that my time with my partner is not infinite. I would actually get sad thinkingRead more

How to Help a Suffering Partner

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences. If you feel like running away or giving up, you are not alone. But remember, it is not uncommonRead more