4 Behaviors to Avoid In Your Relationship

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “When she asked him whether it was true that love conquered all, as the songs said. ‘It is true’, he replied, ‘but you would do well not to believe it.” ~Gabriel Garcia Marquez We would all like to believe that when we fall in love it will be forever. The truth is, love is a complicated and fluctuating emotion. It is not a superhero power that will conquer all of life’s problems. One has to treatRead more

Understanding the Grief and Loss Cycle

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.” ~Kristina McMorris The cycle of life is both beautiful and heartbreaking. From the moment of our birth, we share a common destiny with the rest of the world. The mortality that connects us makes life that much more remarkable. Knowing that death awaits us and our loved ones may be a haunting and difficult thought to bear. Truly, oneRead more

What Is Your Attachment Style?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are limited and some studies suggest that full brain development does not occur until we are 25 years of age. Further studiesRead more

Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “An eye for an eye will only make the world blind” ~Mahatma Gandhi Arguments and relationships go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, arguments are not as sweet as jelly and don’t go over as smooth as peanut butter. When we argue with our loved ones, it is important to remember that it’s not necessary to deliver a knock out blow. Think of the argument as a heart toRead more

7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein We all have bad days. Have you ever had the kind of day that makes you think, “What is it all about?” We might start questioning our jobs and even our lives. Pretty soon we find ourselves spiraling into sadness. It is important not to get stuck in a whirlpool of negativity. Always keep moving forward because tomorrow will beRead more

Do You Know Your Shadow Side?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Hello darkness, my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence” ~Simon & Garfunkel Like Dr. Jekyll and his evil shadow Mr. Hyde, most of us are completely unaware of the constant dark companion that dwells within us. Our shadow side, according to C.G. Jung, theRead more

Is Gratitude Overrated?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been told by more than one client that the word “gratitude” has become very cliche. They are constantly being told to be grateful as if it is a fix all toRead more

How to Spot an Emotional Bully

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. The reality is that, unless you are machine or lack basic human emotions, negative words and behaviors do have a profound effect on the way you feel about yourself. Fortunately, in our current society, we have become vigilant and sensitive to all forms of bullying.  As a result, we are quick to notice thisRead more

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker 1. Identify current boundary crossers The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person make you feel? Most likely, telling this person how you feel will get you nowhere. They may even get satisfaction from hearing your plea. Remember, it is not uncommon for boundary crossers to be veryRead more

The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” ~Will Rogers Wherever we look, we are constantly being fed the idea that we need more “stuff.” We have 24-hour television channels devoted entirely to entice us to buy more and more items we don’t really need. Every commercial break is an opportunity to sell to a captive audience. For those who do not watchRead more

The Psychological Defense Mechanism of Displacement

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.” ~Sheryl Sandberg Our emotional responses to everyday life events do not always take a linear path from perception to a reaction. Every day we encounter an endless assembly line of external stimuli that we must quickly access, process and classify. Our brains must categorize these happenings and life moments quickly in order to respond appropriately. Often our subconscious will identify some event asRead more

7 Signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The world cannot be the mirror to your soul.” ~Dr. Perry I was recently asked to explain histrionic personality disorder also known as HPD. Histrionic personality disorder is a psychological disorder that can affect both men and women. A person with HPD will have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. It is as though they have a hole in their soul. They often are described as drama queens and displayRead more

How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let’s meet at noon at the gym – oh wait, you probably don’t know where that is.” ~ Anonymous We all have that friend, co-worker or family member who has a special way of saying seemingly harmless words that makes us feel like we have been slapped across the face with a rose only to later find we have been embedded with thorns. These same individuals have the habit of doing or purposely not doingRead more

5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I am a professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of my existence unless I become aRead more

5 Signs You Haven’t Fully Healed from Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Narcissistic people are always struggling with the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around them.” ~Unknown It is common for individuals who experience narcissistic abuse to suffer in silence or not even know that they are being abused. Because narcissists are master manipulators, they can be very difficult to spot. Narcissist abuse syndrome is a term used by mental health professionals to describe individuals who have been victimized to the extent thatRead more

How to Slow Down Time ⌛️

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss 1. Live for now, not for later We can only experience happiness in the present moment. Just because we are in the middle of a mundane project does not mean we cannot reflect on this fortunate opportunity to participate in the dance of life. Our moments are so fleeting. A day will pass so quickly, even when doing something we do not want to do. ItRead more

5 Easy Steps to Deal with Negative People

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” ~Joyce Meyer 1. Recognize and accept their toxicity First and foremost, it is important to identify and accept that someone we know is a negative person. This can be difficult, especially when the person is someone we care about. Either way, we must be careful not to allow their negativity to transfer onto us. We need to accept that negativity is toxic and will only breed more negativity. It isRead more

How to Avoid Burning Out

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A good rest is half the work.” ~Buddhist Proverb 1. Remember why you started What has inspired you to be on the path you are on? Anytime we forget our roots or the purpose for why we are in our current situation, it is easy to see our challenges only as difficulties. How many challenges have you overcome to get where you are? I am sure there are too many to count. It might be helpful toRead more

How to Deal with Emotional Vampires

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown 1. Don’t be guilted or show pity Emotional vampires are great at using guilt or pity to control and manipulate others. If you show any sign of guilt or pity, you become an easy target. It is important to be decisive, direct and non-reactive when dealing withRead more