How to Spot Psychological Manipulators

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous Like the waves that forcefully crash on the shore and later gracefully retreat, there is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt. We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions. ThereRead more

The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” ~Will Rogers Wherever we look, we are constantly being fed the idea that we need more “stuff.” We have 24-hour television channels devoted entirely to entice us to buy more and more items we don’t really need. Every commercial break is an opportunity to sell to a captive audience. For those who do not watchRead more

How to Manage Your Anxiety in an Anxious World

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia Millions of us are living lives disproportionately full of worry. This excessive worrying outweighs the possible impact that the occurrence of the anxiety-provoking event would have on our lives. We are not able to manage or control the thoughts that flood our minds. We are consumed with worry about family, health, work and everyday life events.Read more

Are You or Someone You Know Raising a Narcissist?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay There is a well-known statistic that states that up to 6 percent of the US population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My math may be slightly incorrect but that is approximately 20 million people. One out of 16 people suffers from NPD. What is extremely interesting is that only 3 percent of those over 65 years of age report having any experience with NPD compared to 10 percent of people inRead more

Signs of Collective Narcissism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “In the final analysis I believe in man in spite of men.” ~Elie Wiesel I recall as a young boy thinking of girls as alien beings inhabiting the same planet but playing by a whole different set of rules. They were seen as the enemy and I was convinced that boys were superior to girls. I recall my sister arguing that boys had cooties and that girls rule. I believe she wonRead more

Do You Know Your Shadow Side?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Hello darkness, my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence” ~Simon & Garfunkel Like Dr. Jekyll and his evil shadow Mr. Hyde, most of us are completely unaware of the constant dark companion that dwells within us. Our shadow side, according to C.G. Jung, theRead more

How to Assess the Quality of Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius I am at a place in my life where I am able to slow down and momentarily pause. Every now and then it is important to stop to appreciate and reflect on our life’s journey. We must make a conscious decision to be fully present when facing life-defining moments. Learn to be happyRead more

How Creative Are Your Dreams?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “I have everything I need in my daydreams. A big home, fast car, money and tons of good friends. I could never have that in my so-called real life so why try?” ~Anonymous Maladaptive daydreaming is a psychological concept that was first introduced in 2002 by Eli Somer, a clinical psychologist who specializes in traumatized patients. Dr. Somer found that patients who suffer early trauma regularly escape into a world of imagination where they fantasize compensatory empoweringRead more

Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “An eye for an eye will only make the world blind” ~Mahatma Gandhi Arguments and relationships go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, arguments are not as sweet as jelly and don’t go over as smooth as peanut butter. When we argue with our loved ones, it is important to remember that it’s not necessary to deliver a knock out blow. Think of the argument as a heart toRead more

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I am the greatest obstacle to my greatest dreams.” ~Craig D. Lounsbrough The subconscious mind is like an overgrown hedge maze. We enter it thinking we can quickly get through to the other side only to realize we are lost somewhere in the middle. How often do you set out to accomplish a task only to start ruminating about something that went wrong in your life? Lost in thought we forget thatRead more

Identifying Narcissistic Triangulation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry What does it take to have a healthy relationship? Whether it is in love, friendship, work relationships or family relationships, they all need mutual respect in order to thrive. One of the reasons narcissists are not able to have healthy relationships is because they do not respect people. To the narcissist, people exist solely for their benefit. They need a steady and constant supply of attention, approval, admiration, adoration and worship to feel alive andRead more

4 Behaviors to Avoid In Your Relationship

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “When she asked him whether it was true that love conquered all, as the songs said. ‘It is true’, he replied, ‘but you would do well not to believe it.” ~Gabriel Garcia Marquez We would all like to believe that when we fall in love it will be forever. The truth is, love is a complicated and fluctuating emotion. It is not a superhero power that will conquer all of life’s problems. One has to treatRead more

How To Spot Deception

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “He who has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” ~Sigmund Freud In my profession, it is important to know if someone is lying to me or more importantly to themselves. Whether it is a small lie or a malicious lie, everyone lies at some point. ResearchRead more

What Are You Psychologically Projecting?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~Herman Hesse Do you view the world through the sunny optimism of rose-colored lenses or is the tint of your worldview darker and more gloomy? One’s view of the world has a lot to do with the internal script created by one’s unconscious mind. You are both the author,Read more

Finding Life in the Shadow of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric PerryImage Credit: Pixabay “Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden.” ~Mary Engelbreit Life is complicated. One day we open our eyes and find ourselves in a life that we have no idea how we entered into willingly. We have painted ourselves into the proverbial corner with no window or door for escape. This is how many people describe feeling when they come to realize that their life partner is a narcissist. Perhaps you have aRead more

Understanding the Grief and Loss Cycle

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.” ~Kristina McMorris The cycle of life is both beautiful and heartbreaking. From the moment of our birth, we share a common destiny with the rest of the world. The mortality that connects us makes life that much more remarkable. Knowing that death awaits us and our loved ones may be a haunting and difficult thought to bear. Truly, oneRead more

A Look Inside the Mind of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay ” But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.” ~Ellie Fox An individual with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has spent most of their life creating the illusion of a confident and self-assured individual. Tightly wound up in this facade is the desperate struggle to maintain this self-created image. Much like a toddler swimming in aRead more

Exposing the Narcissistic Parent

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Having a narcissistic parent is like living life as a human doormat.” ~ Anonymous Children come into the world much like new-born ducklings ready to imprint on their caretakers. They are innocent blank slates waiting to learn the ways of the world. Like a bud on the vine, with proper care, children blossom and grow to be mentally and physically healthy adults. Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose our parents. While some of us endRead more

What Is Your Attachment Style?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are limited and some studies suggest that full brain development does not occur until we are 25 years of age. Further studiesRead more

The Psychological Defense Mechanism of Displacement

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.” ~Sheryl Sandberg Our emotional responses to everyday life events do not always take a linear path from perception to a reaction. Every day we encounter an endless assembly line of external stimuli that we must quickly access, process and classify. Our brains must categorize these happenings and life moments quickly in order to respond appropriately. Often our subconscious will identify some event asRead more

The Power of Positive Visualization

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein In my professional life, I recommend to my patients that they practice a bit of time travel. I ask them to imagine traveling into the future and to make positive visualizations about the time to come. They can imagine whatever they wish, but it must be positive. By focusing our minds on positivity, we can learn toRead more

How to Spot the Shy (Covert) Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Don’t be fooled by the title. There is nothing cute or innocent about this stealthy narcissist, also known as the covert narcissist. A covert narcissist is a narcissist who suffers from low self-esteem. He or she is seeking the same glory and power as the classic narcissist but does not possess the same outwardly bravado. They have all the attributes of an overt narcissist but hide behind many masks. In my clinical experience, those who permit a covertRead more

Self-Acceptance in the Social Media Age

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~Marilyn Monroe We are living in a world where we are able to form a virtual reality presence on a number of different platforms. Currently, we have YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and numerous other social media and dating apps available to us. Many of us use these apps recreationally for a healthy amount of time. Current research shows thatRead more

Is Gratitude Overrated?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been told by more than one patient that the word “gratitude” has become very cliche. They are constantly being told to be grateful as if it is a fix all toRead more

How to Deal with a Co-worker Who Won’t Stop Talking

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If my headphone are in, I am probably trying to do some work.” ~Anonymous I was in an office setting this past week. As I spoke to the receptionist her co-worker was loudly sharing a personal story. I could tell the receptionist was uncomfortable and was trying to get her co-worker to stop talking. I found myself not only listening to very personal details of someone’s life but incredibly I was also being askedRead more

3 Steps to Create a Self-Care Plan

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~Oscar Wilde In one way or another, we are all caretakers. Caretaking can be found in all aspects of life. Some of us are caretakers in a professional capacity. We may work in mental health, the medical field, or other professions that require us to take care of others. Others assume the role of a caretaker in their daily lives as parents or inRead more

How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let’s meet at noon at the gym – oh wait, you probably don’t know where that is.” ~ Anonymous We all have that friend, co-worker or family member who has a special way of saying seemingly harmless words that makes us feel like we have been slapped across the face with a rose only to later find we have been embedded with thorns. These same individuals have the habit of doing or purposely not doingRead more

How to Recover From a Mistake Using G.R.O.W.T.H.™

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~Johnny Cash Mr. Cash was a smart man who brilliantly summed up how we should treat our mistakes. We must acknowledge that making mistakes isRead more

How to Overcome Technology Addiction

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” ~Seneca We live in a world where most of our life essentials are one click away. Food, clothing, companionship, entertainment, and even sex can be attained by just a click. More and more we are giving our vital life energy to electronic devices. Look around. I am quite sure you will see what is becoming a familiar norm. The bent head,Read more

5 Signs You Haven’t Fully Healed from Narcissistic Abuse

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Narcissistic people are always struggling with the fact that the rest of the world doesn’t revolve around them.” ~Unknown It is common for individuals who experience narcissistic abuse to suffer in silence or not even know that they are being abused. Because narcissists are master manipulators, they can be very difficult to spot. Narcissist abuse syndrome is a term used by mental health professionals to describe individuals who have been victimized to the extent thatRead more

The Power of Laughter

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” ~Unknown 1900 BC The worlds oldest recorded joke dates back to 1900 BC. This joke proves that toilet humor has been around for a very long time along with mankind’s need to laugh. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with the serious side of life. We have 24-hour news stations, Twitter, Instagram, SnapchatRead more

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “I encourage people to remember that “No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Gavin de Becker 1. Identify current boundary crossers The first step in setting healthy boundaries is identifying who it is that is the boundary crosser. How does this person make you feel? Most likely, telling this person how you feel will get you nowhere. They may even get satisfaction from hearing your plea. Remember, it is not uncommon for boundary crossers to be veryRead more

9 Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let us keep courage and try to be patient and gentle. And not mind being eccentric, and make distinction between good and evil.” ~Vincent Van Gogh The purpose of this article is to educate readers on a serious mental illness that is said to affect 1.6% to 5.9% of adults in America. This is from 4 million to 14 million people. The purpose of this article is NOT to vilify or shame individuals who sufferRead more

How to Slow Down Time ⌛️

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss 1. Live for now, not for later We can only experience happiness in the present moment. Just because we are in the middle of a mundane project does not mean we cannot reflect on this fortunate opportunity to participate in the dance of life. Our moments are so fleeting. A day will pass so quickly, even when doing something we do not want to do. ItRead more

5 Easy Steps to Deal with Negative People

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” ~Joyce Meyer 1. Recognize and accept their toxicity First and foremost, it is important to identify and accept that someone we know is a negative person. This can be difficult, especially when the person is someone we care about. Either way, we must be careful not to allow their negativity to transfer onto us. We need to accept that negativity is toxic and will only breed more negativity. It isRead more

How to Avoid Burning Out

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A good rest is half the work.” ~Buddhist Proverb 1. Remember why you started What has inspired you to be on the path you are on? Anytime we forget our roots or the purpose for why we are in our current situation, it is easy to see our challenges only as difficulties. How many challenges have you overcome to get where you are? I am sure there are too many to count. It might be helpful toRead more

How to Let Go of the Past

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.” ~Jessica Hatchigan 1. Recognize that we have a choice Whenever we get stuck in the past, most likely it is because we are being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. These intrusions appear as regret, anger, hatred, resentment or sadness. When we get caught by this web of negativity, it is extremely difficult to remember that we have a choice. We can choose to break free from this cycle by realizing that each thoughtRead more

How to Deal with Emotional Vampires

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown 1. Don’t be guilted or show pity Emotional vampires are great at using guilt or pity to control and manipulate others. If you show any sign of guilt or pity, you become an easy target. It is important to be decisive, direct and non-reactive when dealing withRead more

5 Signs of Codependency

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A lot of the time codependency looks like intense love, but “needing” another person often stems from fear, not love.” ~Jennifer Kass 1. You feel like you will die without the other person The first time I ever experienced what I would call true love, I began to think about my mortality more than ever. I would think about the fact that my time with my partner is not infinite. I would actually get sad thinkingRead more

How to Help a Suffering Partner

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences. If you feel like running away or giving up, you are not alone. But remember, it is not uncommonRead more