What Are You Willing To Allow?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay Unfortunately, there are individuals who believe they are doomed to duplicate past mistakes and to repeat the same pattern of negative experiences. They mistakenly believe that it is their fault or their destiny to attract negative behaviors from others.  They expect to experience and accept horrible behaviors from people they have allowed into their intimate circle of friends. Throughout their lives, their personal boundaries have been chiseled away to the point thatRead more

How to Let Go of Control

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas Kempis Many of us attempt to do the impossible on a daily basis. In an effort to prove that we have control over our lives we try to control everything in our environment including the people around us. Essentially, we are trying to control our inner lifeRead more

The Psychopath Behind The Mask

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.”  ~Rick Riordan Hiding in plain sight under the guise of normalcy, they patiently wait to pounce on their next target. The psychopath is a dangerous animal because they are camouflaged to look like you and me, but they lack a key ingredient of what makes us human; a conscience. The main characteristic of a psychopath is the lack of a conscience. Unlike most humans, theyRead more

Break Free From The Stimulation Nation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I believe people are afraid to be still because we’re used to being stimulated.” ~Michael W. Smith When was the last time you sat alone in silence without anything or anyone to distract you? For many of us, it is difficult to be alone without something to entertain us or to focus our attention on. In its most obvious and prevalent form, the distraction comes in the form of our mobile phones. TheRead more

How to Spot an Emotional Bully 

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. The reality is that, unless you are machine or lack basic human emotions, negative words and behaviors do have a profound effect on the way you feel about yourself. Fortunately, in our current society, we have become vigilant and sensitive to all forms of bullying.  As a result, we are quick to notice thisRead more

How to Spot Psychological Manipulators

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous Like the waves that forcefully crash on the shore and later gracefully retreat, there is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt. We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions. ThereRead more

The Hollow Man – A Look at Narcissism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Carl Jung The narcissist is much like the hollow plaster statues that are cast to look like those made of solid marble. The facade may be pleasing and alluring, much like Michelangelo’s David. But, if you look closely you will soon realize that the form is actually empty and shallow. An individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has an inner frailty that they have triedRead more

Why Do You Blog?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay We all have our personal reasons for wanting to publically journal or dare to attempt to write for others. I started my blog 3 years ago as a way to escape. At this time, I was beginning to work on my Ph.D. My proposal had been approved and now came the difficult part of literature research and writing down coherently on paper what I had in my head. I remember the exactRead more

It’s Ok To Feel Your Feelings

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.” ~Dolly Parton There seems to be a perception that certain feelings are bad and others are good. While some feelings such as happiness may feel better than sadness, it is important to remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional beings and we possess a wide spectrum of feelings, which have a purposeRead more

How to Assess the Quality of Your Life

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius I am at a place in my life where I am able to slow down and momentarily pause. Every now and then it is important to stop to appreciate and reflect on our life’s journey. We must make a conscious decision to be fully present when facing life-defining moments. Learn to be happyRead more

How to Identify & Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” ~Maya Angelou At one time or another in life, we all have felt that perhaps we were not worthy of the life we have or the praise and recognition we receive from others. You wake up feeling that the shoes you walk inRead more

L.E.T. G.O.™ of Toxic Relationships

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ~John Mark Green I would like to share with you an acronym that I created for my patients who are dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship. This acronym is a reminder to not form an attachment to an unhealthy bond by giving it your time and energy. The relationshipRead more

How to Cope with Negative Emotions

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness.” ~ Joel Osteen I am a mental health professional but I am also human and I like you experience a wide range of emotions. I am not a superhero with an impenetrable shield that causes all negative feelings to bounceRead more

Identifying Narcissistic Triangulation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry What does it take to have a healthy relationship? Whether it is in love, friendship, work relationships or family relationships, they all need mutual respect in order to thrive. One of the reasons narcissists are not able to have healthy relationships is because they do not respect people. To the narcissist, people exist solely for their benefit. They need a steady and constant supply of attention, approval, admiration, adoration and worship to feel alive andRead more

What Lies Beneath Your Emotions – Reaction Formation

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” ~Albert Ellis What if you hated someone who you were socially and morally expected to love? For instance, what if you felt hate for your sibling, child or spouse? These feelings, if openly expressed and acknowledged, would be reprehensible to you. According to the theory of reaction formation, these feelings that we fear and deny will cause our unconscious to exaggerate the opposite ofRead more

The Power of Empathy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck The ability to see and feel the world from another person’s point of view is one of the most powerful human traits. Empathy allows you to transport yourself into another person and to experience the world through their eyes. Without empathy, we are empty vessels; nothing more than singular and isolated figures unable to connect with the world around us.Read more

Is FOMO Ruining Your Life?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” ~Ann Brashares We are living in an age of ubiquitous distractions and interruptions. Technology has given us the ability to stay connected to each other every single second of the day. You can watch events unfold throughout the world in the palm of your hand. Like no other time in history, you are given unparalleled access to the lives ofRead more

The Power of Self-Talk

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama XIV Like a faithful shadow on a sunny afternoon, we are accompanied throughout our lives by a constant inner monologue. This voice has been with us since childhood and reflects both conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs. It may be positive, neutral or negative. Although difficult to study because inner speech is an internal process, there areRead more

What To Do If your Boss is a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What do you mean they do not know who I am? I am… Y.” ~Narcissistic Boss One of the most important relationships that we have, whether we like it or not, is with our boss. Many of us work 40 hour weeks or more and are often shadowed by a direct supervisor. By boss, I mean your employer or anyone who has a direct supervisory role over you. We would all loveRead more

You Teach Others How To Treat You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “You teach people how to treat you.” ~Oprah Winfrey Many of us are living our lives repeating the same heartbreaking and unhealthy patterns. We appear to be stuck on replay unable to move forward while continually duplicating the chaos that caused us to leave our last relationship. Perhaps there is a belief that we have a “type” that we attract. We seem to get involved emotionally with the same type of personRead more

Share & Promote Your Blog

Dear readers, I want to create a directory for my readers to connect with each other. If you would like to share your blog, please leave a description of what readers will find if they visit your site. Hopefully, this will create positive connectivity for our blogging community. Please share this post! Kindly, Dr. Perry http://www.DrEricPerry.com Education: Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology M.A. in Clinical Psychology B.A. in Psychology DISCLAIMER The materials and content contained in this website are for generalRead more

Finding Life in the Shadow of a Narcissist

Written by Dr. Eric PerryImage Credit: Pixabay “Happiness must be grown in one’s own garden.” ~Mary Engelbreit Life is complicated. One day we open our eyes and find ourselves in a life that we have no idea how we entered into willingly. We have painted ourselves into the proverbial corner with no window or door for escape. This is how many people describe feeling when they come to realize that their life partner is a narcissist. Perhaps you have aRead more

You Are Not Damaged

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay It saddens me to hear people refer to themselves as being damaged. They speak about themselves as if they are a commodity that is for sale; a product whose price has been reduced for a perceived flaw. Often this expression is accompanied by the idea that no one would want to be with them. This idea of being damaged often stems from some form of abuse where the learned message was thatRead more

Exposing the Narcissistic Parent

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Having a narcissistic parent is like living life as a human doormat.” ~ Anonymous Children come into the world much like new-born ducklings ready to imprint on their caretakers. They are innocent blank slates waiting to learn the ways of the world. Like a bud on the vine, with proper care, children blossom and grow to be mentally and physically healthy adults. Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose our parents. While some of us endRead more

A Sacred Space Called Therapy

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The end of confession is, to tell the truth to and for oneself.” ~J. M. Coetzee I am frequently asked by potential patients, what they should expect from therapy. The answer to this largely depends on you. Therapy is a powerful tool that can provide you with life-changing insights into why you do certain things. The benefits are immeasurable, but therapy is not a one size fits all approach. What you will gainRead more

Awaken The New Year 2019

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go.” ~Theodore Roethke I enjoy waking up before my alarm clock and laying in silence, surrounded by the familiar comfort of my home. I am an active dreamer both in sleep and in life. Often I wake in the middle of a dream and am leftRead more

How To Avoid Turning The Holidays into The Hellidays

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay The holiday season is upon us. Everywhere I look I am greeted with reminders that Christmas is around the corner. I have to admit I love the look and smell of a douglas fir completely decorated with colorful and bright ornaments. It brings back wonderful childhood memories. To some of us, the holidays are a dreaded time of year. The bombardment of constant reminders may actually cause anxiety as we look forwardRead more

Is There Such a Thing as Being Too Positive?

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay  “Do what you feel in your heart to be right — for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt I am not a thin-skinned individual who cannot accept criticism, but I do make a conscious effort to block all negativity from my blog. I want my blog to be a place where I can share educational, motivational, inspirational and uplifting posts. IRead more

3 Steps to Create a Self-Care Plan

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~Oscar Wilde In one way or another, we are all caretakers. Caretaking can be found in all aspects of life. Some of us are caretakers in a professional capacity. We may work in mental health, the medical field, or other professions that require us to take care of others. Others assume the role of a caretaker in their daily lives as parents or inRead more

7 Signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The world cannot be the mirror to your soul.” ~MakeItUltra™ I was recently asked to explain histrionic personality disorder also known as HPD. Histrionic personality disorder is a psychological disorder that can affect both men and women. A person with HPD will have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. It is as though they have a hole in their soul. They often are described as drama queens and display outlandishRead more

5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism

Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I am a professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of my existence unless I become aRead more

5 Amazing Benefits of Classical Music🎼

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Music is the universal language of mankind” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Around my house, I am known as the music man. I have the habit of walking around playing music out loud from my phone. I have my own personal soundtrack to my life, continuously playing. Music for me is like a dose of happiness. I love all types of music. It makes me feel joyful and optimistic. When I write I love to listen toRead more

Simple Steps for Eating Mindfully

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Mindful eating means simply eating or drinking while being aware of each bite or sip.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh In our fast-paced society and the ever-present need to multi-task, many of us have forgotten the joys of eating. I personally know what it’s like to be so busy I forget to stop and smell the spaghetti :). This was written as a reminder to myself. Here are 5 tips on how to eat more mindfully. 1. Recognize ifRead more

How to Deal with Emotional Vampires

Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” ~Unknown 1. Don’t be guilted or show pity Emotional vampires are great at using guilt or pity to control and manipulate others. If you show any sign of guilt or pity, you become an easy target. It is important to be decisive, direct and non-reactive when dealing withRead more