Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” ~Maya Angelou At one time or another in life, we all have felt that perhaps we were not worthy of the life we have or the praise and recognition we receive from others. You wake up feeling that the shoes you walk inRead more
Posts tagged: #advice
4 Behaviors to Avoid In Your Relationship
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “When she asked him whether it was true that love conquered all, as the songs said. ‘It is true’, he replied, ‘but you would do well not to believe it.” ~Gabriel Garcia Marquez We would all like to believe that when we fall in love it will be forever. The truth is, love is a complicated and fluctuating emotion. It is not a superhero power that will conquer all of life’s problems. One has to treatRead more
Living Life One Pause at a Time
By Dr. Eric Perry, PhDImage Credit: Pixabay “There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.” ~Anonymous What if all we are is a fleeting and fragile physical manifestation of our thoughts; unconnected floating ideas that bind together to form the physical representation of your self andRead more
The Power of Empathy
Written by Dr. Eric PerryImage Credit: Pixabay “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck The ability to see and feel the world from another person’s point of view is one of the most powerful human traits. Empathy allows you to transport yourself into another person and to experience the world through their eyes. Without empathy, we are empty vessels; nothing more than singular and isolated figures unable to connect with the world around us. ToRead more
What Lies Beneath Your Emotions – Reaction Formation
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” ~Albert Ellis What if you hated someone who you were socially and morally expected to love? For instance, what if you felt hate for your sibling, child or spouse? These feelings, if openly expressed and acknowledged, would be reprehensible to you. According to the theory of reaction formation, these feelings that we fear and deny will cause our unconscious to exaggerate the opposite ofRead more
How To Regain Your Balance When Life Knocks You Down
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~Gail Sheehy We have all heard the expression that life can change in the blink of an eye. One moment you are skipping down the yellow brick road towards your happily ever after unaware that the paved road is about to turn to dirt. You work hard and feel that you are deserving of the life youRead more
What Is Your Attachment Style?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “What’s love got to do with it?” ~Tina Turner Humans are born helpless. Unlike other life forms such as insects that are born with fully developed brains and must immediately fend for themselves, we are born totally defenseless. We are unable to walk, talk or feed ourselves. Our cognitive functions are limited and some studies suggest that full brain development does not occur until we are 25 years of age. Further studiesRead more
Are You in Control of Your Life?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control.” ~Epictetus Every morning before I head to the office, I go online and check the traffic report. I mentally rehearse my drive, avoiding all congested roadways, and check my backup route just in case. I have a cup of coffee, check my watch, and briefcase in hand, dash through the front door. I try to control my exposure toRead more
How to Manage Your Anxiety in an Anxious World
Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD Image Credit: Pixabay “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia Millions of us are living lives disproportionately full of worry. This excessive worrying outweighs the possible impact that the occurrence of the anxiety-provoking event would have on our lives. We are not able to manage or control the thoughts that flood our minds. We are consumed with worry about family, health, work and everyday life events.Read more
Fair Fighting Rules for Relationships
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “An eye for an eye will only make the world blind” ~Mahatma Gandhi Arguments and relationships go hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly. Unfortunately, arguments are not as sweet as jelly and don’t go over as smooth as peanut butter. When we argue with our loved ones, it is important to remember that it’s not necessary to deliver a knock out blow. Think of the argument as a heart toRead more
5 Amazing Benefits of Classical Music🎼
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Music is the universal language of mankind” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Around my house, I am known as the music man. I have the habit of walking around playing music out loud from my phone. I have my own personal soundtrack to my life, continuously playing. Music for me is like a dose of happiness. I love all types of music. It makes me feel joyful and optimistic. When I write I love to listen toRead more
Self-Acceptance in the Social Media Age
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ~Marilyn Monroe We are living in a world where we are able to form a virtual reality presence on a number of different platforms. Currently, we have YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and numerous other social media and dating apps available to us. Many of us use these apps recreationally for a healthy amount of time. Current research shows thatRead more
The Psychopath Behind The Mask
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters.” ~Rick Riordan Hiding in plain sight under the guise of normalcy, they patiently wait to pounce on their next target. The psychopath is a dangerous animal because they are camouflaged to look like you and me, but they lack a key ingredient of what makes us human; a conscience. The main characteristic of a psychopath is the lack of a conscience. Unlike most humans, theyRead more
7 Ways to Uplift Your Mood
Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ~Albert Einstein We all have bad days. Have you ever had the kind of day that makes you think, “What is it all about?” We might start questioning our jobs and even our lives. Pretty soon we find ourselves spiraling into sadness. It is important not to get stuck in a whirlpool of negativity. Always keep moving forward because tomorrow will beRead more
How to Spot Psychological Manipulators
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “You learn a lot about people when they don’t get what they want.” ~Anonymous Like the waves that forcefully crash on the shore and later gracefully retreat, there is an ebb and flow to life. The seasons change and the flowers bloom, only to later wilt. We all give and take in our daily lives. Our interactions with one another are overall based on a healthy exchange of emotions, ideas and positive social interactions. ThereRead more
Do You Know Your Shadow Side?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Hello darkness, my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence” ~Simon & Garfunkel Like Dr. Jekyll and his evil shadow Mr. Hyde, most of us are completely unaware of the constant dark companion that dwells within us. Our shadow side, according to C.G. Jung, theRead more
How to Recover From a Mistake Using G.R.O.W.T.H.™
Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~Johnny Cash Mr. Cash was a smart man who brilliantly summed up how we should treat our mistakes. We must acknowledge that making mistakes isRead more
Is Gratitude Overrated?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson I have been told by more than one client that the word “gratitude” has become very cliche. They are constantly being told to be grateful as if it is a fix all toRead more
How to Assess the Quality of Your Life
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius I am at a place in my life where I am able to slow down and momentarily pause. Every now and then it is important to stop to appreciate and reflect on our life’s journey. We must make a conscious decision to be fully present when facing life-defining moments. Learn to be happyRead more
L.E.T. G.O.™ of Toxic Relationships
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” ~John Mark Green I would like to share with you an acronym that I created for my patients who are dealing with the effects of a toxic relationship. This acronym is a reminder to not form an attachment to an unhealthy bond by giving it your time and energy. The relationshipRead more
What Are You Willing To Allow?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay Unfortunately, there are individuals who believe they are doomed to duplicate past mistakes and to repeat the same pattern of negative experiences. They mistakenly believe that it is their fault or their destiny to attract negative behaviors from others. They expect to experience and accept horrible behaviors from people they have allowed into their intimate circle of friends. Throughout their lives, their personal boundaries have been chiseled away to the point thatRead more
How to Spot an Emotional Bully
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” ~Anonymous I wish the above quote was true. The reality is that, unless you are machine or lack basic human emotions, negative words and behaviors do have a profound effect on the way you feel about yourself. Fortunately, in our current society, we have become vigilant and sensitive to all forms of bullying. As a result, we are quick to notice thisRead more
How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “I am the greatest obstacle to my greatest dreams.” ~Craig D. Lounsbrough The subconscious mind is like an overgrown hedge maze. We enter it thinking we can quickly get through to the other side only to realize we are lost somewhere in the middle. How often do you set out to accomplish a task only to start ruminating about something that went wrong in your life? Lost in thought we forget thatRead more
How to Let Go of Control
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” ~Thomas Kempis Many of us attempt to do the impossible on a daily basis. In an effort to prove that we have control over our lives we try to control everything in our environment including the people around us. Essentially, we are trying to control our inner lifeRead more
Is FOMO Ruining Your Life?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” ~Ann Brashares We are living in an age of ubiquitous distractions and interruptions. Technology has given us the ability to stay connected to each other every single second of the day. You can watch events unfold throughout the world in the palm of your hand. Like no other time in history, you are given unparalleled access to the lives ofRead more
How to Turn Negative Urges into Positive Actions
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ~Hans Selye Sublimation is a subconscious psychological defense mechanism whereby we take a negative impulse and channel it into a positive behavior. This is similar to displacement (click here to refer to my earlier post on displacement) but instead of taking a negative impulse, such as aggression towards one’s boss, and displacing that negative feeling onto an innocent third partyRead more
The Unhealthy Consumer: When is it Enough?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” ~Will Rogers Wherever we look, we are constantly being fed the idea that we need more “stuff.” We have 24-hour television channels devoted entirely to entice us to buy more and more items we don’t really need. Every commercial break is an opportunity to sell to a captive audience. For those who do not watchRead more
5 Important Qualities of Leadership
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” ~John Quincy Adams Whether we are trying to lead a country or a household, we must remember it is both a privilege and a challenge to be given an opportunity to lead. Leaders are not born but molded by the waves of life. Daily life truly is the best classroom and we must treat every obstacleRead more
What Are You Psychologically Projecting?
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~Herman Hesse Do you view the world through the sunny optimism of rose-colored lenses or is the tint of your worldview darker and more gloomy? One’s view of the world has a lot to do with the internal script created by one’s unconscious mind. You are both the author,Read more
The Psychological Defense Mechanism of Displacement
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Turning feelings into words can help us process and overcome adversity.” ~Sheryl Sandberg Our emotional responses to everyday life events do not always take a linear path from perception to a reaction. Every day we encounter an endless assembly line of external stimuli that we must quickly access, process and classify. Our brains must categorize these happenings and life moments quickly in order to respond appropriately. Often our subconscious will identify some event asRead more
The Power of Positive Visualization
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Logic will get you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” ~Albert Einstein In my professional life, I recommend to my patients that they practice a bit of time travel. I ask them to imagine traveling into the future and to make positive visualizations about the time to come. They can imagine whatever they wish, but it must be positive. By focusing our minds on positivity, we can learn toRead more
How to Deal with a Co-worker Who Won’t Stop Talking
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “If my headphone are in, I am probably trying to do some work.” ~Anonymous I was in an office setting this past week. As I spoke to the receptionist her co-worker was loudly sharing a personal story. I could tell the receptionist was uncomfortable and was trying to get her co-worker to stop talking. I found myself not only listening to very personal details of someone’s life but incredibly I was also being askedRead more
7 Signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “The world cannot be the mirror to your soul.” ~Dr. Perry I was recently asked to explain histrionic personality disorder also known as HPD. Histrionic personality disorder is a psychological disorder that can affect both men and women. A person with HPD will have an insatiable need to be the center of attention. It is as though they have a hole in their soul. They often are described as drama queens and displayRead more
How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Let’s meet at noon at the gym – oh wait, you probably don’t know where that is.” ~ Anonymous We all have that friend, co-worker or family member who has a special way of saying seemingly harmless words that makes us feel like we have been slapped across the face with a rose only to later find we have been embedded with thorns. These same individuals have the habit of doing or purposely not doingRead more
How to Have Healthy Alone Time
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” ~ Aristotle When was the last time you had a day to yourself? If you are like most people it was probably a while ago. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by external stimuli. All of the noise has caused many of us to lose touch with our inner voice. Whether it is five minutes or an hour, having timeRead more
5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism
Written by Dr. Eric Perry, PhD “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I am a professional formula one driver. I am not special in regards to accepting criticism. No one likes to be criticized, but it is part of my existence unless I become aRead more
The Power of Laughter
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.” ~Unknown 1900 BC The worlds oldest recorded joke dates back to 1900 BC. This joke proves that toilet humor has been around for a very long time along with mankind’s need to laugh. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with the serious side of life. We have 24-hour news stations, Twitter, Instagram, SnapchatRead more
Simple Steps for Eating Mindfully
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Mindful eating means simply eating or drinking while being aware of each bite or sip.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh In our fast-paced society and the ever-present need to multi-task, many of us have forgotten the joys of eating. I personally know what it’s like to be so busy I forget to stop and smell the spaghetti :). This was written as a reminder to myself. Here are 5 tips on how to eat more mindfully. 1. Recognize ifRead more
How to Slow Down Time ⌛️
Written by Dr. Eric Perry Image Credit: Pixabay “How did it get so late so soon?” ~Dr. Seuss 1. Live for now, not for later We can only experience happiness in the present moment. Just because we are in the middle of a mundane project does not mean we cannot reflect on this fortunate opportunity to participate in the dance of life. Our moments are so fleeting. A day will pass so quickly, even when doing something we do not want to do. ItRead more
How to Avoid Burning Out
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “A good rest is half the work.” ~Buddhist Proverb 1. Remember why you started What has inspired you to be on the path you are on? Anytime we forget our roots or the purpose for why we are in our current situation, it is easy to see our challenges only as difficulties. How many challenges have you overcome to get where you are? I am sure there are too many to count. It might be helpful toRead more
How to Let Go of the Past
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.” ~Jessica Hatchigan 1. Recognize that we have a choice Whenever we get stuck in the past, most likely it is because we are being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. These intrusions appear as regret, anger, hatred, resentment or sadness. When we get caught by this web of negativity, it is extremely difficult to remember that we have a choice. We can choose to break free from this cycle by realizing that each thoughtRead more
How to Help a Suffering Partner
Written by Dr. Eric Perry “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama 1. Fight the urge to run away or shut down Let’s face it, it is in our nature to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Seeing a loved one suffer is one of the most heart-wrenching experiences. If you feel like running away or giving up, you are not alone. But remember, it is not uncommonRead more
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