Posted by
Dr. Eric Perry
202 Comments

Choose Your Attitude Don’t Let It Choose You

Written by Dr. Eric Perry
Image Credit: Pixabay

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” ~Maya Angelou

Last summer I was able to take some time off work and fly to Paris. On one particular day while on vacation, I bravely chose to wander the crowded hallways of The Palace of Versailles along with hundreds of others. Click here to see some photos. While shuffling along the cordoned-off walkway there was a person who kept bumping into me. This unwanted contact culminated in him stepping on the back of my shoe which caused it to come off. So there I was bent down blocking the narrow pathway as I tried to put on my shoe. At that moment I had a choice to make. I could either accept my fellow tourist’s apology, put on my shoe and shuffle along or I could become upset and let this small interaction ruin my day.

Our attitude about the obstacles that we encounter has a profound impact on our lives. Whether it is a major life event or a minor event such as my shoe incident, every interaction is loaded with infinite potential. What you choose to actualize is solely up to you. You either give life to a positive emotion or you leave it on the vine to fade away. Much too often we read about a minor traffic violation that led to disproportionate violence. It is unfathomable to think that something that may have occurred by accident can result in someone possibly losing their life. It is so common in fact that there is a name for this particular type of violence, road rage. I often think of my beloved grandfather. Diagnosed with terminal cancer, he chose to live his remaining days with utmost dignity and grace. The little negativity that was in him vanished overnight. In its place, there blossomed endless love for his family and for his remaining life. His attitude was that of a man at peace with his fate. He was an inspiration to all of his friends and family until the day he passed.

That summer day I accepted my fellow tourist’s apology. I quickly moved out of the way and fixed my shoe. As I stood to the side of the shuffling hoard I was able to pause and be thankful. In my haste to outrun the hot sea of tourists, I had been mindlessly moving along with the wave and not truly taking in the splendor of the palace. Engulfed by the beauty of The Hall of Mirrors, I was able to reflect and realize that by being mindful of my response, I exercised the freedom of choosing my attitude.

I choose to not sweat the small stuff in my life. I live by the example of my grandfather who faced death with such dignity. I realize how I react to any situation is under my control and is my responsibility. You have the power to either have a bad day or a meaningful day. The choice is yours.

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you enjoyed this post.

The thoughts expressed in this blog post are my own and are not meant to create a professional relationship with the reader. This blog does not replace or substitute the help of a medical professional. Please note, I am unable to answer your specific questions as I am not fully aware of all of the circumstances.

Kindly,
Dr. Perry

Copy of Dr. Eric Perry

“I help ambitious and high achieving individuals manifest a life of success and fulfillment in order to achieve the life they truly desire.”

Dr. Eric Perry | drericperry.com

DISCLAIMER
The materials and content contained in this website are for general information only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users of this website should not rely on the information provided for their own health needs. All specific questions should be presented to your own health care provider.

USE AGREEMENT
In consideration for your use of and access to this website, you agree that in no event will Dr. Eric Perry be liable to you in any manner whatsoever for any decision made or action or non-action taken in reliance upon the information provided through this website.

FOR IMMEDIATE SUPPORT
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.

© 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

202 responses to Choose Your Attitude Don’t Let It Choose You

  1. Shoran ilaa says:

    Thank you for this post Dr. Perry. It’s so true that our attitude makes a huge different for our experience. Your grandfather sounds like an amazing man. I’m going to re-read this post with my coffee tomorrow. It will be a great refresher to start my week.

    Liked by 12 people

  3. Emily says:

    Another great post. You are one of my favorite bloggers because you are so positive and consistent! I can tell by your writing that you are a very kind soul. Thank you ❤️

    Liked by 13 people

  6. enitsirk24 says:

    I appreciate the reminder on how important our attitude is in every situation in life. I practiced this yesterday and took the high road thanking God that I was able to take care of something that could either make me bitter and angry or at peace as I had chosen.

    Liked by 10 people

  9. Laura says:

    I love this. I often let my attitude choose me which – unsurprisingly – brings a lot of negativity in my life. Sometimes to choose the better way is a challenge because we are prideful (I speak for myself here, definitely!) But it’s always good to remember we have a choice. Thanks for sharing this wonderful article.

    Liked by 11 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      Hello Laura, I am happy this resonated with you. Indeed it is a challenge but with practice it gets easier. Thank you for your comment✨

      Liked by 3 people

  10. nobingeeating says:

    Wonderful post! And so true. There are times I want to admonish my pessimistic friends and family members, but I just smile, choosing to stay in peace. This choice is empowering. Thanks for being a respite in the storm of negativity we are surrounded by!
    Merri

    Liked by 10 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      Hello Merri, indeed it is powerful to be able to say no to a negative reaction! Have a wonderful day✨

      Liked by 3 people

  12. Anita Bowden says:

    This is such an important message, Dr. Perry, and something we need to be reminded of often in this chaotic, noisy world that often pushes buttons for us so easily! I know that I struggle with this constantly! Your story about your shoe was so perfect, as it revealed how something that could have been seen as a problem, was actually a hidden gift because it enabled you to see what you had been missing. Your story about your grandfather was beautiful! Thank you for sharing this post! ❤️ ~Anita

    Liked by 10 people

  13. lifewithmrst says:

    I am trying not to get caught up in the little negative things and move on. It can be hard at times but it has helped me appreciate what is important. This affirms I’m on the right path

    Liked by 11 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      While difficult, being aware that you have control over your response is empowering. Stay focused and follow your heart✨

      Liked by 3 people

  15. Leah Able says:

    A very timely read for me. I am dealing with a lot of both minor and major anger inducing issues at the moment. I am still angry but I’m reminded to be solution oriented and not let it live in my mind. Thank you.

    Liked by 11 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      I am happy this resonated with you. Take the challenges you are facing one at a time and a day at a time. Wishing you well✨

      Liked by 4 people

  17. valleygirlwalking says:

    This is a great post. “Every interaction is loaded with infinite potential” – I love this. As you say, it’s up to us to make it positive or negative. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 10 people

  24. thelongview says:

    “You either give life to a positive emotion, or you leave it on the vine to fade away.” I do this a lot. How does one overcome the dread of stepping out and undertaking something large and probably beyond one’s capability?

    Liked by 9 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      You try your best and aim to succeed. If you fail, choose to see it as a victory because you didn’t give up. Wishing you the best✨

      Liked by 4 people

  25. believe4147 says:

    Great post. So often we allow our situations to control us forgetting we have the choice to to be controlled or not. I liked your initial quote. I hadn’t heard that one before.

    Liked by 10 people

  26. carol hopkins says:

    First of all, I love Maya Angelou – her wisdom is totally awesome. And second of all I enjoy your blog – it is inspiring and uplifting and I appreciate your generous sharing of what you have learned and experienced. So – thank you!

    Liked by 8 people

  27. Amartya says:

    I’ve never realised it before, as I have always preferred to go with my instinct. But what you said really compels me to think, that perhaps the bad days I faced was by choice rather than fate which I like to blame more than often.

    Thank You for this insight. So beautifully written.🌸

    Liked by 9 people

  29. livinginspiredby says:

    I was tested today with this topic. My attitude did get the best of me, due to one thing after another. But I took some quiet time with myself to shift the negative thoughts and say to myself, “What could go right.” It really did help 🙂 Your grandfathers love lives in you. Thank you for your great daily messages!

    Liked by 8 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      Thank you for sharing your experience from today. It is always motivating to hear when others have shifted their attitude through thoughtful reflection. It reminds us all that it is possible. I appreciate the kind words about my grandfather. I am sure a similar kind of love lives in you as well✨ Thank you again for commenting!

      Liked by 4 people

  30. Separated From The Flock says:

    Yes indeed-how we choose to respond to the events in our environment have much to do with our inner peace and happiness. Thank you Dr. Perry for illustrating this so well!

    Liked by 9 people

  31. lillian.tove says:

    I really appreciate your perception and am grateful you stumbled upon my blog. Had you not, I wouldn’t be enjoying how well you spread positivity around like confetti. Lots of great reads. Thank you!

    Liked by 8 people

  32. deepanilamani says:

    “You have the power to either have a bad day or a meaningful day. The choice is yours” ~ I liked that very much. You sure do educate, motivate, inspire and uplift Dr. Perry. Thank you very much for this very educative post 🙂

    Liked by 9 people

  33. Jay says:

    Great post! And it’s interesting how an incident that one could have seen as something to be upset about has actually led to you stopping to look at the beauty around you. Maybe life is our Versailles and we’re all just moving along until someone steps on our shoe. 🙂

    Liked by 10 people

  34. Covert Novelist says:

    Love this! Too often people think they let go of something but in reality, they haven’t and it adds on to a slew of other “beefs” and voila “road rage”. Stopping to take note of what’s really going on, and perceive your possible reactions makes such a difference to your entire day. Choices. Indeed life is about choices. Go left or right? and having made that decision, work through the results and not lament over not having taken the other path. Whichever path you choose, commit to it, then go on.

    Liked by 9 people

  35. The Bionic Blogger says:

    I teach a course called, MORE THAN CONQUERORS, and my inmate students need to hear what you wrote in your blog. Do you mind if I share it with them?
    I’m always telling them that it’s the little things that make the big things happen, and it’s very easy for a small incident of disrespect to turn into a lifetime of incarceration.
    My program is Bible-based, and geared towards giving Offenders productive coping skills to equip them to resolve conflict in a positive way. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that I found your article to be impactful, as I’m quite sure my students would too.

    Liked by 9 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      Yes you may! I would be honored if what I wrote inspired your students in any way. Thank you for the help and insight you provide your inmate students✨

      Liked by 2 people

      • The Bionic Blogger says:

        Thank you very much, Dr. Perry! Without question, my students will be inspired by your wisdom. And the story about your shoe being stepped on will especially resonate with them. In prison, such a small violation can end up exploding in violence so easily. My goal is to give them options. An ill-equipped man will resort to old behaviors if not given new skills for which to resolve conflict. And to a man incarcerated for a decade or more, ANY situation can become a conflict. In prison they only know how to deal with conflict negatively. I’m trying to teach them a better way so that when they do eventually experience freedom, they won’t surrender it because of their inability to resolve stressful situations. Sorry for rambling. Thanks again, Dr!

        Liked by 8 people

  37. parikhitdutta says:

    Your posts are what make my day Dr. Perry. Indeed we tend to dwell so much in misery forgetting all the happiness that’s just there.

    Liked by 9 people

    • Dr. Perry says:
      Author

      Hello Parikhit, thank you so much for such a nice comment! I enjoy your beautiful writing as well. Have a wonderful day✨

      Liked by 3 people

  39. tbi479/survivor says:

    So true – one thing we can control is how we react to something or someone. I used to sweat the small stuff and have learned to let go and let God. I lean on him a lot. Thank you for your posts. I truly enjoy them.

    Liked by 9 people

  41. Anomalous Darlings says:

    “You either give life to a positive emotion or you leave it on the vine to fade away.”

    This could not have been said better! Thanks for the reminder to stay in driver seat of our attitudes, in spite of the roadblocks!

    Liked by 9 people

  45. windsofchange18 says:

    Once again such timing of reading this post…I know our attitude can effect others around us as well … or not . But sadly other people’s moods can effect mine . Not fun trying to change this …a work in progress.🙂

    Liked by 8 people

  48. dmhendricks71 says:

    A bad day or a meaningful day…I like your choice of word here…not good but meaningful! So true! It’s so nice you had an inspiring grandfather. My great grandfather was also an inspiration to me. A true blessing.

    Liked by 8 people

  52. momlifewithchiari says:

    Very true! Living with a non-curable illness, I often find myself feeling ‘on edge’ all the time. But when I am present in the today, I find myself grateful and thankful for the moments I’d otherwise wouldn’t have.

    Liked by 8 people

  56. chicoinematt says:

    Last week I struggled mightily with negativity at work. It even affected my job performance. This is a new week and I am able to start anew! Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 9 people

  58. amoralegria says:

    This post demonstrates the rewards we can obtain when we don’t let the little stuff get to us. If you had gotten upset, you would not have appreciated your surroundings. It’s so important to be mindful! Thank you for this post with an important lesson!

    Liked by 7 people

  59. lovejoybalance says:

    I didn’t learn this until I lost my dad at a young age of 25, however, it was just in time to to practice intentionality. Great post. “Don’t sweat the small stuff!!”

    Liked by 8 people

  60. Rhodenia says:

    You’re right, Dr. Perry. We are not in control of some circumstances that we may come across with but we are in control of our own reactions. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 9 people

  61. Ginganocchio says:

    This is good. Im always checking my attitude with every circumstance in life… and good posts like this remind me to check myself.

    Liked by 9 people

  64. Author Ryan Callahan says:

    I agree. I fight that battle every day with Celiac Disease. It tries to beat me down every day without fail right when I open my eyes in the morning and it doesn’t stop trying all day. I must admit, sometimes I don’t have the best attitude about it, but like you said, the good news is we can choose and we can have power over the problem. Amen sir, God bless!

    Liked by 9 people

  66. laronda65 says:

    I’m 53 and am finally getting to where I can step back from situations and TRY to intentionally choose to NOT label something as “good” or “bad”. Part of it is that as a Christian, I should trust that all good things come from God and that if something is meant for evil for me, God can turn to good, so…. But I’m learning that even if something first appears to be horrible – like the life sentence of cancer – we don’t know right away if it’s ultimately going to benefit us or not. I’m working on my latest post right now about something like this. My daughter failed her driving test for the third time in a row and is really frustrated and disappointed. As I thought about her yesterday, I remembered performance painters like David Garibaldi – especially the ones who would paint a portrait upside down. The thing is that we don’t really know how beautiful something will be while it’s being created if all we see are splashes and smears of paint until we see the final picture. And another thing I try to remember is how grateful I am to people who are gracious and forgiving to me when I make mistakes. It’s an amazing feeling! Great post!!

    Liked by 7 people

  70. Moment with me says:

    Thank you so much Dr Perry for this piece, I could remember vividly when I use to react to every thing especially those negative words that can ruined you but once I realized that I can’t control what people think or say but I can control how I react to such I have had unimaginable peace of mind in every way possible.

    Liked by 6 people

  73. Matters of Living says:

    I have found this shift in attitude to be so helpful. No stranger cared how angry or happy I was about some mishap like they blocked my way. The response only affected me and when I did not lose time and mental energy being fazed by it, I just focused on working around and keep moving and smiling.

    Liked by 5 people

  74. Snowbird In Training says:

    There is so much anger in the world. I see it in so many social media posts/ comments, daily news, and on my daily drive to work. I wish we could all learn to pause, breathe, and think about setting a good example for others before reacting. Great post.

    Liked by 6 people

  76. betulerbasi says:

    I had always been an optimist but recently I am struggling. I am finding it hard to choose the positive attitude, or make an effort to do that. It is probably temporary and I believe this post will be a good reminder to me to change this. Great post!

    Liked by 5 people

  78. Jess says:

    Thank you for this post. It is nice to be reminded to not sweat the small stuff. Daily interactions we have can make or break us. We don’t know when someone is struggling and we can’t react without taking a second to breathe and reconsider. We need to focus on responding versus reacting. I loved this post. Attitude for gratitude, always!

    Liked by 5 people

  79. Michele Anderson says:

    I think we should live life with dignity. All the little things we get so upset about and hold that anger deep inside of us is such a waste of time. There is always choices, and the best choice is be happy and flow with your life. Thank you for a wonderful post 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

  80. Angie says:

    I love your description of your “enlightened moment.” I feel lucky to have had many such moments of clarity. Your point that experience is positive or negative is a choice is an important lesson; and one I hope all learn in their lifetime.
    #openandbrave

    Liked by 5 people

  81. Suzanne says:

    Id like to chime in with my own 3C’s Choice Challenge and Change. We choose what we choose based on the choices made before or trial and error of different. Then comes the challenges associated with the choices we make. The ideals of positive vs negative or we can choose again to be neutral to the idea of choice. The finality comes when we can change something about ourselves in the choices and the challenges. That to me is the awareness moment that the feed back loop isn’t what we think it is and we become indifferent to the past, not focused on the future yet see the present moment. Thanks Dr Perry for being you.

    Liked by 5 people

  87. Ladysag77 says:

    I am a firm believer that the only control we have is how we respond to life. It’s all about perspective and attitude. We need yo be able to see things from multiple POV to be able to take the lessons life is teaching us, loving g one another is the only truth. Ki dness and love are effortless when we remove the stigma, pain and ego stories we tell ourselves. I love Mark Nepo’s writing and today in his “Book of Awakening” and I am paraphrasing here, the hardest thing in life is to feel others love them without allowing others thoughts to affect us. It takes inner work, radical acceptance and observation of self to be able to see others for what they are meant to be teaching us. Life lessons hardest won are the most fruitful to gain🙏❤

    Liked by 6 people

  89. toobehuman says:

    It’s a nice thought. Usually in those situations changing how you feel seems impossible, but it’s something I’ll definitely try! Lovely post btw

    Liked by 6 people

  92. Luna Allen says:

    This is wonderful advice, and I second it! Our attitude towards the things that happen to us is beyond important to how happy our lives are.

    Liked by 5 people

  93. sheilajoy1220 says:

    Great post! This is what I think and feel and I try to follow. Your words, “You have the power to either have a bad day or a meaningful day. The choice is yours.” I have said this some many times in so many ways to the people in my life. I feel this in my bones. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 4 people

  95. Poetik’ally says:

    Dr Perry…very powerful message, evocatively put across. Very strong feeling of déjà vu..we’ve all been in similar situations…and so well said, ‘the choice is always ours’..! A wonderful read..

    Liked by 5 people

  99. Jordan Hoggard says:

    What a wonderful experience that you embodied from your beloved grandfather. Your stepping out of the rushing river of the hoard’s beaten path onto the “shore” so to speak to immerse in the splendor of the Hall of Mirrors makes for a magnificent image, a painting via a mirrored memory (of experience). You sure picked the right room to do it in! The Hall of Mirrors. Such a grand space. The splendor comes through in your article. Splendor of that room. Splendor of your grandfather. The splendor of your choice. The feel of your article immediately settled in and was calmly aware right at the point you expressed that. I’m resonating most with the deceptive simplicity of that single step. I have to say, glad that tourist stepped in your shoe.

    Liked by 5 people

  101. SimonsSaysTravel says:

    Wow I needed this right now I’m kind of depressed, but fighting it I’ve let myself have a day off to feel sorry for me but after reading this I’m back on track

    Liked by 6 people

  103. christin says:

    Thankyou dr.perry I have been following for quite a time now, all your posts are so encouraging and practical. It has helped me a lot. You are truly a very inspiring person.

    Liked by 6 people

  105. CuriousKeds says:

    Thanks for another great post! It’s inspiring how you share your own experience and use your grandfather as an example to deal with your attitude towards a situation.

    Liked by 6 people

  112. musingsofmanettekay says:

    This so reminds me of the analogy of someone who complains about a glass half empty vs being grateful that it is half full. With teens and tweens, I use a literal glass of water as an object lesson to illustrate the very thing you so eloquently wrote – we have the power to choose our attitude. Great post!

    Liked by 6 people

  113. VINITA PAL says:

    Dr. Perry, what a great thought! I too believe that the cause of most of the conflict in our world is that we humans forget to mind our words. My one of the poem with title DANGEROUS WEAPON has a close resemblance with this post of yours. If at all you find time ,do give a read to my poem. I would really be happy to know your thoughts about my poem.

    Liked by 5 people

  118. tiffanyromito says:

    I really like this! In high school if we got detention we had to write “don’t sweat the small stuff” 100 times 😂 u would think it’d be ingrained by now!!!

    Liked by 6 people

  119. Annie says:

    My optimism meter shrinks when I am stressed or tired or just having one of those days! Thankfully it’s not very often! I believe if the media promoted more ‘good’ things, violence would shrink, people would spread kindness more and all of us would have better lives.

    Liked by 6 people

  121. Lasta says:

    I hear what you are saying. Sometimes seemingly minor incidents can trigger memories of more major incidents and before we know it, we’re experiencing negative emotions. Thanks for the reminder to be mindful. There doesn’t seem to be a downside to mindfulness!

    Liked by 4 people

  126. LisaLisa says:

    I really needed to read this today. I tend to let the small stuff get under my skin, but when I really pay attention to my reactions- I choose happiness.

    Liked by 2 people

  127. captainforadayfoolforalifetime says:

    Choosing not to sweat the small stuff is such a powerful and positive decision. As someone who has had anxiety issues related to chronic illness, I have slowly but surely learnt the value of this statement. I don’t always succeed. but it’s a journey isn’t it.

    Liked by 3 people

  130. avid reader says:

    Thank you, Dr. Perry. A much-needed read for me. The past few weeks have been extremely stressful owing to tension at work. After reading your article I am much at peace and can look forward to a change of attitude since the power to make my day is in my hands. Thanks for reminding me.

    Liked by 3 people

  131. Dew says:

    Thank you Dr. Perry. I enjoyed this post and it was a reminder not to let the small foxes spoil the grapes. I’ve had incidents in my life where I let these small things affect me which led to a ripple effect. Now I am mindful. thanks for the reminder and God bless your grandfather. He has taught you a valuable lesson for life.

    Liked by 2 people

  135. tlgartistry says:

    Thank you! I am learning that we pick and choose our battles from our actions which are determined by our attitude. It’s so easy to react without thinking about the consequences. I am becoming more easy-going which makes it easy for me to access the situation first before I react.

    Liked by 2 people

  137. Shaunelius Sterns says:

    We all have to choose how we accept things, and make decisions about things, such as our attitudes. We can choose to have a good attitude even when things are not turning out how we want them to. There’s no point in having a bad attitude, it only robs you of your joy and peace. Thank you for sharing this valuable information. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  138. Msfab says:

    Reminds me of an inspirational poster I saw in an office which simply said “Your altitude depends on your attitude.” Great post

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment